You Never Know...I am writing this story here because it is about marriages and relationships and this group is the largest group here on EP.
I went to college in my early thirties and I loved learning. Especially psychology because I wanted to understand about people and how they think. In Psych 101 two of my classmates were beautiful women who always walked in together chatting and laughing. I used to look at them and think to myself that they must have perfect lives. One was in her twenties and the other in her late thirties and their hair and clothing were stylish and they carried themselves with assurance.
One day I saw where there was a meeting after school for women who were or had been in abusive relationships and I signed up. It was a support group to offer insight and help. I walked in and took a seat and in a few moments every seat was taken and women were lining the walls of this room. Two of them were my Psych 101 classmates!
These two women that I had imagined as having perfect lives were victims of spousal abuse! We all spoke out in turn and I was astounded at the women who were living in abusive situations. So much pain in such a crowded room. It was heartbreaking. The rejection and the common thread of shame when the shame should have been on our abusers.
This taught me a good lesson. No matter how a person may present themselves. With a smiling face. Perfectly dressed. Laughing. Poor or well off financially. Abuse and rejection crosses all social and financial lines.
You never know who you are sitting next to. Who waits on you in a restaurant or answers the phone when you make a business call. Sometimes the people who appear to be the happiest, the most put together, are people who live in the shame of abuse and rejection.
People live secret lives. Why it means so much when we give a stranger a smile or compliment. One kind word or gesture can make a difference in someone's life. You never know. Peace,D