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Drought Ending

We were in a sexless marriage for a while. Then we had a child, now that our kid is older we are starting to get back into having sex more often. It is simply intercourse with the lights off and a lot of clothes on, but hopefully we are easing back into a sex life
Rainfire27 Rainfire27 31-35, M 9 Responses Aug 3, 2012

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It all started after I got banged up when I was downrange. I guess seeing me in the ICU shook things up. It isn't a problem of love, just getting over her trauma. Advocates for divorce are too impulsive, after discussion and therapy neither o rod us wants it. So I'd means taking it slow it means taking it slow real life isn't like a ***** anyway

There were 10 responses. 2 mentioned divorce, neither "recommending" it. Is it figuring more prominently in your thinking than it originally seemed ?

Advocates for divorce? It's more like you'd do well (sometimes) to consider surgery for cancer. Please - if you want to change your world - which seems delusional to me - read some more here. If you trot out refuser-playbook lines like "life isn't like a *****" rubbish, you've clearly been well infected. How's about thinking about the fact that some people have a life they love, full of juicy passion. And they've had to fight to get it. So don't come over all snooty about people who talk about divorce (which btw isn't the route I've followed).

it sounds better than no sex at all, by some margin. but the real question is... Is it hot sex? Or, is it tedious sex? That will tell you more about your future than who is wearing what, or how many lights are on. IMO. Party on. If at least one of you is turned on, and both of you want to have it, then you are likely on a good path.

It sounds like there is a lack of love. Who started refusing who?

Regardless, a call to your divorce lawyer is probably in order. Do not bet on time. You would not be here if everything else in the marriage was great or even normal, for that matter.

I wish you the best...I really do!

How's the communication? Is renewing your intimacy a team effort?

Possibility #1. All that sex will lead to kid #2 and it'll be "back on your heads".



Possibility #2 You'll have hygiene sex in perpetuity, likely declining as time goes on.



Possiility #3 You'll figure that you want better and take steps to achieve that - either with your wife or someone else.



Do not underestimate the harm and loss of trust that comes from extended periods of the SM.

Best of luck!

Sounds as if she has body image issues amongst other things. Does she just feel she can't compare to your Adonis physique?



:-)

Your story doesn't exactly ring with confidence about how things are going.



Tread your own path.