Sexless In TnSexless in TN
My wife of 17 years seems to have no interest in sex at all.
When we met, I had some **** magazines and that was no problem to her. We had smoking sex and I loved it and I thinnk that was one of the things that kept us going together. Then pregnancy and we married.
During the pregnancy, we continued to have sex.
after the pregnancy, sex dropped off alot. I can't say how often but it was a noticeable drop.
Then we moved to TX after about 1 1/2 years of marriage and then it dropped off even further. I was abusing alcohol and in that time I discovered internet ****. I justified using internet **** because there was little or no sex going on after just 1 1/2 years of marriage.
We had some major arguments and I remember alot of them were over money.
We moved again about 3 years later and the amount of sex dropped off a little more and during that time I was accessing internet **** a little more often. Again, I was using the "You don't give me sex, so I go look at ****" stance.
we moved several times over the years and at one point my internet sex developed into not just looking but into trying to get cam to cam sex, never showing my face. I felt that I just wanted to feel goo and I liked it when a woman would say I had a hot body.
I also would go to ***** clubs and get lap dances to the point where I would *********.
I started having an affair. I never had intercourse or oral sex with the woman, but it got real close. I had gotten sober a few years before the affair, and I stopped the affair because I thought it would affect my sobriety. Coincidentally, the next day, my wife found out about the affair.
My wife did not leave me.
Even before that I would estimate that my wife and I would have sex maybe 5 times a year. I would always complain about it during counseling.
During counseling sessions when I would bring up the lack of sex topic, I would be told always to romance it up. I had tried several times and got no results from my wife.
I have gotten to the point where I don't care about romancing it up anymore because I feel that I get no results anyway.
I can't stand our relationship and wish it could be better. I don't like talking to my wife anymore because all she does is complain about things like the dishwasher and the floor andhow I don't like to go with her to see her horse.
I don't like participating in things with her because she doesn't sharany interest in what I am doing or my hobbies.
I am just lost.
I don't want to get a divorce. I feel that I still love her and also there is the whole financial crises where I will be screwed because I am the man in the relationship.
She says she still loves me but I don't feel it.
We are more like roomates at this point with her being condescending and critical of me all the time and when I get angry about it I just leave the house because it's too painful to be around.
I know that there were things (mentioned above) where I was at fault and to blame. I know that I screwed things up with the affair and internet ****.
I just wish things would get better between us.
We are seeing yet another counselor, and I am trying to get to solutions rather than going in there and complaining about the sad state of the relationship all the time.
well, that's that.