Thought You Would Relate to This...

LovingSunshine LovingSunshine
36-40, F
5 Responses Aug 8, 2012

in life. we all need someone to learn on. Someone to behold on and someone to call his/her name. If we can remember the promises we made to each other what attracted us to each other we'll be able to stay not with each other. Sexlessness in marriage has a reason. Find the reason. And remind him of how you begin with him the first time he mate you this will arouse the past from him

I couldn't agree more. I love what you said "sexless was has a reason. find the reason." yes yes yes! So true. I am working to improve my marriage. I'm the reason we are sexless now. It's complicated as most stories are here but there is a reason or two and I will find it for me and for him.

With intimacy averse persons, it ain't so much the high minded concept of "letting them go". It is more akin to "cutting them loose" <br />
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"Letting them go" has connotations that they WANT to go, when in fact they rarely do want that. They are happy "as is" and are not going to be willing participants in an orderly split. Quite the reverse.<br />
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They will NOT help you try and fix the dysfunctional situation and they will not help you end the dysfunctional situation.<br />
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So it falls to YOU to cut them loose.<br />
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Tread your own path.

Ah you are right baz. But they don't want to cut loose either. Ha ha
True though, they are content until faced with the cutting loose talk. Some try while others flounder and some don't give a ****.

Thanks, LS,<br />
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At the foundation of a relationship, that's really what it comes down to, isn't it ?

I will chew on this today...<br />
thanks<br />
joyinthejourney, clg

The problem isnt always "letting go", its choosing to be alone & lonely. But at some point we all have to say to ourselves- we deserve better. We deserve to Not be reminded every day that our spouse doesnt see us as valuable or special, that they will often choose p**n instead of the spouse they supposefly love. Being alone is tuff- Im separated bec. I refuse to allow him to destroy my self esteem any longer . Id like to tell you I dealt with this in a timely fashion- I didnt. I have serious issues of co-dependence so taken me 33 yrs to decide Im tired of being a doormat, & just a housekeeper. Wish Id had the strength to stand up to this so long ago. My daughter just graduated college- and Its time. IF he would go for therapy, and face the problem and work on dealing with it- I would get back together. But Id have so See a significant amount of improvement first, he has promised too many times he was "working on fixing the problem" but nothing changes.