I Live In a Sexless Marriage
...an update on how it feels to be OUT. Up in the country on my own for a week, and it feels TERRIFIC to get out of our apt and away from the dark cloud of memories at home.
Yes, I'm sad---at moments I feel tremendous sorrow and loss. BUT...I don't actually miss him. The person he's been for the last couple years is not someone I want to spend time with. I don't miss the constant stew of disappointment, frustration, confusion, and loneliness that is a SM. I don't have to watch his behavior or analyze his words for signs of hope. Life is much simpler. It's liberating to pursue my own happiness instead of constantly worrying about his.
I chatted briefly with an extremely attractive man yesterday, and it was so EXCITING to feel chemistry with someone and know I could act on it! Freely, happily, without sneaking around. Not actually ready for dating, but nice to know I can without guilt.
My friend from out of town, with whom I've developed a very deep friendship and a hot and heavy flirtation, is planning to visit at the end of the month! I can't wait to feel passion again. PASSION. Remember that???? I've almost forgotten. PS: astrologically we are 100% compatible, including in terms of attraction, sex, passion, all of it. Looking forward to testing that out...;)
So for all of you who fear the other side...so far, it ain't so bad.
Yes, I'm sad---at moments I feel tremendous sorrow and loss. BUT...I don't actually miss him. The person he's been for the last couple years is not someone I want to spend time with. I don't miss the constant stew of disappointment, frustration, confusion, and loneliness that is a SM. I don't have to watch his behavior or analyze his words for signs of hope. Life is much simpler. It's liberating to pursue my own happiness instead of constantly worrying about his.
I chatted briefly with an extremely attractive man yesterday, and it was so EXCITING to feel chemistry with someone and know I could act on it! Freely, happily, without sneaking around. Not actually ready for dating, but nice to know I can without guilt.
My friend from out of town, with whom I've developed a very deep friendship and a hot and heavy flirtation, is planning to visit at the end of the month! I can't wait to feel passion again. PASSION. Remember that???? I've almost forgotten. PS: astrologically we are 100% compatible, including in terms of attraction, sex, passion, all of it. Looking forward to testing that out...;)
So for all of you who fear the other side...so far, it ain't so bad.
By:
nyartgal
Age:
36-40
,
Female
