Over The Fence

Posted my story on 4 July.
Been an interesting time since then to say the least.

Anyway, last night I stumbled on some paperwork relating to loans taken out by my wife, in her name only thankfully.
This is not the first time she has done this.
I spoke to her about our current financial situation and she basically lied to me saying she hadn't any outstanding debt. She was gobsmacked when I waved the paperwork I had found under her nose.
I guess this was the final straw for me.
How can I do anything or help if I don't know about this stuff.

Packed a bag and headed out into the night.

Thankfully, i've stashed some money etc for an exit and have a plan.

Thanks to everyone for their support.
IsAnyoneHappy IsAnyoneHappy 36-40, M 3 Responses Aug 13, 2012

Your Response


For each of us, it's something that becomes the last straw and we leave. For you, it was the loan papers.

It doesn't matter what the trigger is, just that it works.

It's certainly better on the other side of the fence. Welcome.

A good idea for everyone to have that contingency plan! You are prepared to weather the storm.

She hit your third rail with the money mismanagement/abuse. Whatever trust you had remaining has now been put through the shredder and, as Baz so well detailed below - can and will most likely deliver the death blow to the marriage.

Best of luck in your journey to get to living a higher quality of life.

Personal anecdote.

In my marriage, various things gradually went off the marital table over the years.

It ended up, in reality, to be a Financial Partnership. And I treated it as such. Just about everything was off the marital table at that point, but she was still a reliable and trusted Financial Partner. We might not have had much of a relationship at that point, but we still had that.

Then, she put that at risk.

So there was nothing left to stay for. The last brick in the foundation had crumbled, as had all the other bricks before that.

I left.

Tread your own path.