Love And The Cash RegisterI've lived in a sexless marriage for almost 11 years and a troubled relationship for 5 yrs before that - all with the same man. Well, if you call me approaching him and performing oral sex on him w/ never any reciprocation or advances from him "sexless" - yup that would be my marriage.
At 42 I was puzzled
At 45 I was mad
At 47 I married him thinking it would change someday
At 50 I was depressed and losing hope
At 55 I told myself I was silly to want sex
At 58 I am just about finished.
I used to think it was me - that he didn't find me physically attractive.
Trust me the many men I've encountered in my life never thought that.
Now I realize it's his extreme and crazy need for control that drove his actions - I guess really I should call it inactions - all these years.
My back aches as I type this and the lump in my throat waffles my breath.
When I say he has never approached me for sex I should confess he did once - I woke in the middle of the night and he was stroking my butt and confused and disbelieving, I said "___, it's me," and he recoiled as he woke himself.
Nothing was ever said about it.
That was a good several years ago.
The oral "sex" - if you can call it that - stopped four years ago and that's when our marriage really began spiraling.
Looking at the timefr
I'm very interested in this control issue thing if anyone can add anything.
I told him recently it was immoral for him to have married me - that I married the man I loved (how could I have done that??) and he married a cash register.
Really that just about sums up our relationship.
I have been so foolish.
I'm so disappointed in myself.
Fool4Waiting 56-60, F 17 Responses 2 Aug 14, 2012