What Do We OweMy life is chaotic. HGBF and I are moved into our new digs...and have 6 kids living with us. They are 19, 18, 17, 17, 16 and 11.
One of the 17 year olds isn't mine nor his. A friend of my sons...who got kicked out..and I offered him a bed and a fridge to raid until he graduates from high school (which is right across the street from us). The mother is a drama queen of the highest order. She has the magic paint brush where she rewrites history. She's a maximizer. She's a bully. There was physical abuse.
I have not done anything to keep her from her son. However - the environment there is caustic and I believe she is very unstable. She changes her mind a couple times a week on if she wants him home or wants him to stay gone.
She sent me a text yesterday and told me that I "owed" her. The woman's instability and grandeous thinking...and sense of entitlement...got me to thinking (after I turned off my phone).
What do I owe anybody?
We talk about being doormats - about redefining and/or finding ourselves ..but I never looked at or reflected on this aspect. I have operated under this default thinking that I owe people I'm in relationship with...any type of relationship.
I stayed well beyond the expiration date because I "owed" it to my X to keep "trying" as long as he was willing.
I "owed" him my fidelity even when it meant nothing to him.
I walk around most most of my life feeling like it is one great big to-do list because I "owe" everybody. My Job...my kids...my parents...the stranger on the street who needs $5.
Unlike my prior self - I'm not posting this story after months of reflection. I'm really wondering from you guys...especially the ones who are out and recovering...did this come up for you? Where did you land?
What do you owe others?
NOTE: This excludes the honest days work for an honest days pay :)