Making Love Out Of Nothing At All...Mine is an extremely long story, but I'll try to make it as brief as possible...
I first met my wife in the seventh grade 26 years ago. We started out as friends (no dating or romantic involvement) and grew closer over the years. I fell madly in love with her by the tenth grade, but was far too shy and awkward to tell her.
After high school, she married an older man (22 years older), and I was alone, still hoping for the day I could be with her.
Eventually, I married a woman out of loneliness ( we both knew it wasn't about love even then). And really tried to make it work, even having two kids with her. But finally, we ended the marriage, and I was alone again.
Then I ran into my current wife (the one I truly loved), and found she was divorcing her husband. After twenty years, we were finally together!
Everything was pure bliss for the first three years, but then something started to change. Now, it's like we barely know each other, and sex is nearly non-existent (3 or 4 times a year tops).I've tried talking to her about it, which only leads to fights. Counciling hasn't worked, and spicing things up only makes her suspicious.
I love her still, but have needs. And, if we do seperate, I will lose everything (her, my house, my visitation of my older kids, the son we have together, and practically my entire income from child support).
I became a trucker because I couldn't stand being home and ignored or rejected anymore. I am faithful to her for now, but considering a friends with benefits kind of affair if things don't change.
I feel like a fool. No one else would have waited twenty years to be with his dream girl, and then watch helplessly as it crumbles before his eyes. Was it all a lie? Can I find someone who can give me what I need but lack at home?