HonestyFor the first time in my adult life, I find myself struggling with honesty. People ask me questions, and I don't want to tell them the real answers. I don't want to say how long ago I left my job, I don't want to say that I was married, don't want to say I am divorced, don't want to say a whole lot of things.
This has been somewhat enlightening. I used to think people lied for selfish gain. Now I see there is another component - to cover shame.
I've never had to make a concerted effort to be honest, and it is quite interesting. I think the thing I need to do is find the narrative that I am comfortable with. So I'm trying to figure out how to tell my story without going into sad details, or revealing too much, yet still explain my situation. Some examples I am trying out:
1) I taught music for several years, traveled for a year, and decided to come back to school.
2) I was married and followed my wife out to Oregon. It did not work out, so I came back to Indiana!
3) I was married, and traveled for a year. Now I'm not traveling or married?
Some I DO NOT want to say:
1) I was in a sexless marriage (this will not win you new friends among people you just met)
2) I left my job to make my wife happy, she turned her back on me once she came into money, and so I left, but could not get a job, so I'm changing careers.
I'm in an environment where being positive is a REALLY good thing. So I want to be able to tell my story in a good way.
Also trying to develop life experiences so that my story is about what I'm doing now, and not how I got here.
The thing that is important - out in the real world, telling people your woes pushes them away. Instead, focusing on the positive is SOOOO important. But, it is hard after you've been in such a negative situation.
FilteringMachine 31-35, M 12 Responses 2 Aug 24, 2012