Oh My

My W moved to a different bed room over a year ago and said it was because of my snoring. It was ok at first because I didn't have to worry about her waking me up throughout the night. I missed having her next to me and cuddling when I would reach out and find her in the middle of the night. WE DON'T HAVE SEX ANYMORE! After reading these posts, i can see which direction our marriage is headed. I'm still in love with my wife, but I don't think she feels the same way about me.
gunit2x gunit2x
8 Responses Aug 29, 2012

Sounds like your wife would like you to stop breathing before letting you into her room.

Did you move into the second bedroom as a temporary fix with a goal in mind that suits you both? I sure hope so. At the very least, you can snuggle and have sex way before bedtime.

"I refuse to give up, that would be too easy, and no one would win"<br />
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Unbeknown to you, this race has already been run, and won, and the result is in the scorebook.<br />
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You lost.<br />
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Thing is, it suits her agenda for you to think that the race is still on. After all, she knows that you would no longer play if you knew that the race was over and you had lost. You'd stop playing, and she'd have to face the consequences of her choice. That would bring this dynamic to a shuddering halt. Her free ride would be over.<br />
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If you are going to continue your efforts "for the good of the relationship", know now that you will be the only person chasing this agenda. Her agenda is entirely geared to "what's good for her". You'd do well to adopt a similar position.<br />
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Tread your own path.

I refuse to give up, that would be too easy, and no one would win. I have tried going in the other room and she looked at me as if I was doing something wrong. I stayed anyway but I could feel she didn't want me there. I know I snore, but I don't think its that bad.

Giving up is too easy . . . . yeah, riiiiiiiiiigggghhhhht!!!!!!!

Mate, leaving a marriage that is dysfunctional is THE hardest thing any of us is ever likely to be called on to do. Saying it is the "easy way out" is CRAP! Easy for who?

Its easy to say I'm done and walk away from the marriage. Its hard to stay and deal with being constantly rejected and not feeling wanted.

What's with the "throw in the towel" so quickly? If the relationship is WORTH having, it is WORTH the effort. <br />
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Snoring can be a huge issue. But there are MANY ways of dealing with the issue. Sleep Apnea can be addressed medically.<br />
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I have a question for the men on this thread. Have you tried going into the other bed room some night and romancing your wife?

Out of curiosity, you might set up a video camera and find out if you really snore. If you do, addressing this issue could improve your health.<br />
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My spouse moved out over snoring. I barely snore. Later she complained that the bed that she picked was hurting her back and moved out again. It's always something... an excuse.<br />
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F1987 is most likely right. Your marriage is probably done. Seek an exit strategy.

This marriage is done. Your snoring is just a convenient excuse for her. The fact that you have not had sex in over a year says it all.<br />
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Perhaps now is a good time to seek legal counsel and start planning an exit strategy.<br />
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Stay Strong & Good Luck

Do get your snoring looked into if you can...apnea is damaging, long-term. I still put up with my wife's snoring, because I would rather be close to her, despite the occasional waking up from the noise.<br />
...Although I did once record her snoring on my phone, it was impressive.<br />
If I have any wisdom to impart...it's that letting problems fester makes them worse. Talk it out with her as kindly, gently, and fairly as you possibly can, see if you can get some answers why she's doing this, and some progress.