Time After Time

I live in a sexless marriage. It's been way too long sense I've even been touched or had sex. Sometimes he will say " I need a stress releaver. I'll catch you next time." Of course next time never comes. And other times he will roll over to me and start kissing me. I think it's about time. Maybe I will finally get something. Wrong! He forces my head down and makes me give him a blow job. He pops off and rolls back over. I didn't even get touched or sex.This happens time after time.That's not right. I want to not feel alone and to feel loved. Yes I want lots of sex. The only thing I can think of about this marriage is that it SUCKS. Thanks for reading this story.
koolkatjossie koolkatjossie
36-40, F
32 Responses Aug 30, 2012

That is kind of abusive. What have you done to change the situation? Not implying any judgement toward you - I'm curious as someone who has a sexually fairly self-centered spouse (though not to this degree).

you need to find someone that lives close to you that can give you all the attention you need and deserve. Well that is assuming you want someone else. best of luck

Whether it is a man or woman, you need to be touched and you need to feel loved. Otherwise, why be in a relationship?

if i were with you, i would come up to you from behind and wrap my arms around you and lightly start to kiss your neck and shoulders, slowly running my tongue up and down the nape of your neck, sliding my hands down your body to excite you even more.

I would then slowly begin to undress you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear, and then I would lay you down on the bed and make love to you…

That sucks , u need a man that will treat u like a queen and **** your brains out in the bed room

I feel your pain. Only the roll was reversed. Move on. You are in a *Black Hole*.......Marriage?? One time was enough for me.

Get a divorce and get back your life. Tomorrow never comes, it is now or never. Like the NiKe motto, "Just do it!"

I am sorry...that such a sexy woman such as yourself has to go through this is sad...due to him, you are lost to all men...what a tragedy! hope you find someone worthy of you...

cant you just move on from him? take care...

You need a woman!

Yes I do. I hope to be with her soon.

So you have someone? That's wonderful.

We just haven't gotten together yet.

It sounds like you have so much to share....it's time to move on...it has to be your turn now

Yes it is. I want a divorce and start living again. Thank you.

Awesome...if you ever need a hug I'm here

Thank you.

This is not good. I don't really have any advice, just loads of sympathy.

What? I read this and I wonder if it could possibly be true. Dear - this is not a marriage it is abuse. He actually forced you to give him a blow job? He should have his penis bit right off the next time he tries this on anyone. What a total creep. I understand that not every relationship is perfect but it if is not working for you and it sure sounds like it is not then why stay in it? Leave him - life is too short and you don't deserve to be abused. Very disturbing - please take care of yourself. No this is not cool it is about as far from cool as you can get. What a jerk.

This is a very uncaring man. Does he think he's being dominant? I think he is an ***!

That certainly does not sound like love or passion at all. I am sorry to hear of your situation

I can relate to this one, my wife wants sex all the time. But most of the time she gets fisky when its time to go to sleep. When i have to get up early i just cant do it. Or if the stress level is up i cant get it up. She has played with my **** several times to try and get a rise out of it. But if im not in that mind state it wont rise. Of course i think what my problem is that she has gained alot of weight and that is a major turn off for me. Mabe his stress level is to high, or worried about something. I know mine is. I wish i knew the answer....

I'm a man in the same situation,or rather the opposite,everytime I attempt to steer near sex or even a cuddle I get the 'ICE' treatment,the excuses have run out so I'm thinking of hypnotizing her into becoming a sex craved tiger! Hah!
As for you I think you should speak up,or rather use your mouth.......a guy is at his most vunerable when he's got his **** in his partners mouth,gays included,so next time show your teeth! Yes! just slowly rub your teeth on his ****,then grip it with your teeth.The pyschological effect will get him to wake up and realize that he could lose the most precious thing in his life,(seeing as you're not high enough up on his priority list),his ****!
Bitten off by a frustrated wife! Also mention over dinner that you read an article about a woman who had cut off her husband's **** whilst in hos sleep,he'll look up startled and then you just snap off the end of a raw carrot,look him dead in the eye and crunch loudly for a few seconds before swallowing and wiping your lips.........with the BACK of your hand!!!!
That should etch a few powerful images into the back of his brain......the next day you'll have gifts,and will get a good session,make him eat your *****,sit on his face,inverse the situation and refuse to remain the victim.
You'll be surprised!

12 male friends of your own will assist in this.<br />
<br />
One housewife moved a few college students into her spare bedrooms and after they got used to ******* her she made it very clear they should bring their friends.<br />
<br />
She picked geeky engineering students because they got less sex and had lots of geeky friends who got less sex, well until they met her that is. (*_~)<br />
<br />
Engineering and computer sciences. Local chess club.

What an *******.

I don't know of much pros, but I need to think of the kids.

ok then..im sold...he does have narcisstic tendencies. been there...its tuff I know...<br />
u always have to weigh out the pros and cons...<br />
and in my case i had too many cons...

has he been addicted to **** his whole life? sounds like he is using you as an ob<x>ject for sex or sexual relief. marriage is "supposed" ot be a sacrament with God at the center you 2 are believers. Just saying. any other way is like kinda shallow. im sorry for your pain, im out of an 18 yr marriage where he never wanted sex. and i wasnt attrcted to him and had to be half loaded to get some action for myself when i can home after a night with the girls at 3am. something was off with him.<br />
im not saying to leave, divorce is expensive and contributes to so much with what is wrong in the world. <br />
i would suggest a weeknd away, look up "World wide marriage encounter" weekends in your area but tell him u just wanna "get away" ! Goodluck - here to talk anytime !!!

The surprise of it is he doesn't watch or like ****.

ok well then hes a pretty normal guy. i would just kinda Lie thre one evening with a very non challant attitude and something sexy on and see how he responds.?

He will complain /***** then turn it. Yes he does just lay there. I had to do all the work when we did have sex.

Time of the month or not you can always take a bath together.The only way to get his attention is by ignoring him and dont mention sex at all, his going to start wondering why and keep a smile on your face.

I don't mention it. We have never taken a bath /shower together.

I think this is a clear came of what Dan Savage calls DTMFA. Dump the motherf*cker already. He sounds almost sociopathic to me. Who treats another person like that???

There are lots of previous discussions here in ILIASM: Witholding physical affection and intimacy from a spouse is emotional abuse. <br />
<br />
(Do a search; I did a series of stories in mid-December 2011 and there are many others).

This is was what constitutes sex for my husband as well. Only I was the one who had to initiate it! Talking to his first wife (only recently) - he's always been this way. "Too soon too old too smart too late."

Stress reliever! Really? I would tell him to go for a run. <br />
<br />
Get him hard next time and then stop! Dont say a word to him and roll over . let him think about it. If he gets mad tell him you can talk to him tommorow about it and then really let him have everything that's on your mind. be sure to spend some time on what you are going to say to him about this ahead of time.<br />
<br />
He's interested in sex on his terms only, introduce your terms in your discussion. If he gets it your good, if not tell him to find someone else to get his stress issues delt with. And push him out the door.<br />
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This will blow your self esteem if it has not already. You better than this.

And sometimes he waits til that time of the month when I can't do anything.

i like what alljackedup said above. good idea.

Dont tell him that its that time of the month. Just so it anyway! Put him in a difficult situation and when you get the bitching from him let him own some of your feelings. Unbelievable!

That's not just selfish. That's abusive. Seriously, get far away from this DB now. It will only get worse!

Selfish all the way. You should climax several times before he has his way. I mean, he does want you to come back for more right? Oh wait, maybe he doesn't.

You need a proper man. Mail me

Thank you. I will try.

Thats just terrible. The only person who can change his behavour is you. Until you stand up for yourself he will keep on being the same and possibly worse.<br />
<br />
Stand Strong & Good Luck

"The only person who can change his behavour is you."
That's the first time I've heard that.

Uh ... that's "The only person who can change his behaviour is HIM." But you can, indeed, let him know that his behaviour is unacceptable.

I have had a talk with him, but he just keeps on doing the same thing.