My Side

Im the flip side as its my husband now with the health issues which have drastically altered our relationship, i love my husband but the thought of spending the next 20,30, whatever years in this same place frustrates and exasperates me. I'm a very passionate woman, who loves to enjoy and explore in the bedroom and i'm not ready to be put out to pasture................

I deeply sympathise with you. I am in my second year now without sex, even though I still love her deeply. EVERYWHERE I research this there is an element of "trying" but almost invariably it never comes back.



I am particularly needy and tactile so I feel that I have it harder than most. It is such a shame as in all other respects we are so close and we enjoy so much together, the greatest being our two late teenage daughters, who are fabulous.



I don't think sex will ever return to our marriage. My wife does not want to seek help or advice either and still maintains that she just doesn't feel any sexual urge for me or towards me. Oh and for the record I am 49y/o, 180lbs and over six foot, toned and fit.



My wife had too much to drink on a trip away with me recently and on retiring to bed made advances which I pushed back as they were so obviously hollow. I thought at the time how easy it would have been to succumb but also how much regret it would cause in the morning. She was happy in the morning that we had not. I was bizarrely happy too.



So to conclude, I hope all the readers are helped by reading the experiences of others but I still maintain that once passion and lust and raw sex has gone, it does not return. Sorry.

Enna, thank you for your kind but worrying words. I will take what knowledge I can and aim to improve the situation. It is all I really can do I guess.

Mikeboa I am sorry to hear your story it is tough and although from the sound of it my wife is not as suspicious as yours I do worry about doing things like this even though I am seeking help for both of us.



Wolfen- I really do not know what to say my heart goes out to you as you struggle on. Have you found support here? I guess that is what I seek.

Me too, but that's not all, my wife is a chronically paranoid, of seemingly so many things, she's also anal to nth degree (not a sexual statement) and nothing I do seems to be good enough for her, and has what seems to be an extreme need to control me. I try to consult her in almost everything, including even if I spend as little as $5, so she won't feel left out, but still she always seems suspicious (I have not screwed around on her). If we could only agree to do something together, but other than occasionally travel, we rarely have the same interests. Furthermore, she seems to love being isolated, though I'm far from being a constant partier, I do like having friends and also occasionally associating with family, I think its normal to have a need to be a part of something other than just your wife. I feel like I'm in prison, don't really know what to do. I sympathize with the feeling that you just can't stay there, it's insane to think I can stay in this situation.

It makes a bug difference to me to be the rejected woman in a sexless marriage.

LoS, read widely on this forum. Sadly, you will discover that almost NEVER does this situation resolve positively - as in, you and your spouse resume a loving sexual relationship.



As you read you will find posts that sound like you and your wife - take especial note of those. Read the many wise answerrs from those who have been down this path and have experience and knowledge to impart.



When you find a poster whose words seem wise to you, click on their user name and check out their stories. That way you will build up your own knowledge and understanding of this difficult situation. Making informed decisions about your future is much better than just having to guess which way to go.

Very word you say is true...sorry I don't have the answer I'm in a similar position with my husband. Xxx