AnalogyWhile in the grief support group a nice young man and woman came one night to write a song about the grief experience. Sean posed the question, What is grief?' My immediate response was "It is like being pecked to death by a chicken."
I started relating what I said to being in a SM. There is the first peck. Ouch! This hurts but it has only made a sore red spot on my leg and I can live with this. I was pecked because the chicken had a hard day and everyone has those. Not so bad.
Then the second peck happens in the same spot. Another ouch but no blood has been drawn so I can live with this. And then the third and fourth and fifth and on and on and one is left with an open wound. I can apply ointment and a band aid over this and still function. I can walk and do my job and I can live with this nasty chicken's pecks.
Time moves along and the pecks keep coming even though I try to tell the chicken how much I am being hurt. The chicken refuses to stop pecking my leg. The chicken does not have the capability or want to stop hurting me.
After some years of the chicken's constant pecking, I am left with a gaping wound that will not heal. My shin bone is visible and I am in danger of losing my leg! Ointments and bandages are no help because the constant pecking will not stop!
I realize that I have two choices now. I can continue to allow the chicken to peck at my leg until sepsis sets in and I lose my leg and possibly my life or I can remove my presence from the chicken and start to heal my body and release myself from the constant pain that I am feeling.
It is a slow death and can last a very long time only if I allow this to continue. Being in a SM starts with tiny pecks of one's soul. Bearable for a time but eventually the wound never heals. Then it is time to make some hard or easy choices depending on how much pain one can bear.
I realize now that living in a SM is like being slowly pecked to death by a chicken. A long process that only the victim can bring to an end. Peace,D
dartist 56-60, F 13 Responses 13 Sep 4, 2012