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Too Many Meds?

I just read Unjusted's story about medications not helping her depression.

I have been to several doctors in the last several years - four of them mental health professionals including one psychiatrist - and NOT ONE has inquired about my sex life.

I too have gone the psychotropic drug route and saw no improvement in my depression - well maybe a little but not much. The dosage keeps amping up too, just as they're doing with Unjusted.

Why prescribe these drugs if the underlying cause - so horrific - is not really treatable with meds?

Has anyone else had this same experience?
Fool4Waiting Fool4Waiting 56-60, F 10 Responses Sep 4, 2012

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I went off Lexapro a few months ago with my Doctor's ok. I realize how much it was helping me tolerate this situation. I'm so much more depressed and defeated now. Now I don't know if I should get back on it or just get out of this marriage to fix the real problem. Financially and for my kids, that's not a real option right now. Needing my happy pills :(

See my reply to Vjerilood... I guess the pills do work to some extent. Good to know... p.s. I don't plan on leaving my marriage, but I've decided to get an exit strategy started. I'm paying off my debt, and I've been opened my own savings acct.

I kicked the drugs a couple of months ago and am happy I did. I've been dealing with the SM death spiral for almost 8 years. I started the SSRIs a couple of years ago "to take the edge off". A diagnosis of "borderline depressed" or "generalized anxiety disorder" would probably be reasonable for any of us dealing with ILIASM. I've been in therapy for a year (more than my SM); my wife much longer. The drugs provided little if any help for the depression, but did provide me with loose bowels and minor "ejaculatory disorder". Happily, I was spared the ED, not that it mattered much.



I had just through another round of upping the dosage (still fairly low) with no noticeable changes. This was about the time I discovered EP and realized I wasn't alone in dealing with my "condition". It became clear to me that I was being medicated despite the fact I am a normal, healthy male. I was taking drugs to make me less healthy! So I quit the drugs.



Now, I am still dealing with my SM but with a bit more healthy approach. It's not a disease. ************ is a more effective way to "take the edge off". And the ******* (albeit DIY) are more powerful and satisfying than the medicated ones I had with the rare "pity sex". I'd love to share them with someone (preferably my wife - still my best fantasy) and that may happen as I really feel I moving in a positive direction these days.



If you are healthy, there is no reason for drugs. They can't fix the problem.

In Canada they give you a big sheet that explains the drug your taking... and all the possible side effects. I suggest people read these.



With regards to a sexless marriage... it hopeless. Once the cycle starts it only gets worse with time. I gave up long ago.. even trying... and withdrew all forms of intimacy towards my wife. That way... at least she can get some sort of an idea as to how I feel.

My family doc, therapist, and shrink all know about my SM. I had to tell them, basically because I was crying uncontrollably and if I didn't explain myself I would be heading to the psyche ward. Frankly, the therapist seemed amazed I was still married after 5 yrs with absolutely no sex/intimacy with my refusing husband. The doc suggested if I was going to look elsewhere for sexual fulfillment that I should get a divorce first, but she said she doesn't have faith that there are any good men left (sounds jaded herself). The shrink says my over spending and binge eating are ways in which I'm trying to fill the void in my relationship (not rocket science to figure that out), and that just as these fail to satisfy my sexual needs and leave me feeling dissatisfied, guilty and alone, an affair would too. Sadly, I know she is right. This is probably why I feel so hopeless, and ultimately I know that no amount of antidepressants will ease my pain and sorrow. I feel doomed.

Hrm...I find depression is often about anger, myself...as in I have it, I'm not getting heard, so I stuff it down. A lot of docs out now were going to school before it was widely realized that SSRI's are much less helpful for people with situational reasons for depression.

I do have a nasty chemical imbalance.

I explain it this way: the medications I take are the chemical prerequisites needed for happiness to occur. They do not guarantee it.

Exactly so! Meds must be coupled with the hard work, or they do no good.

It comes down to dealing with the core issue. My STBX has been dealing with depression since 1989. The pills only help so far. You need to be willing to dive into those scary waters to deal with the core issue. I believe unless you do this the pills will only do so much. This I seen, now he is in therapy, I hope

that he will do the work he needs to climb out for himself.

Yes, absolutely I have. And what's more? I've been on that same damned "merry-go-**** yourself" for 17 years. I **** you not.



Drugs do what they do...mess with a few chemicals in your brain that their supposed to, a few they aren't (side effects), and at best they control symptoms. If your ONLY issue is the imbalance, then the meds are a fine choice indeed and likely all you need.



But...drugs cannot undo abuse. They can't 'unprogram' you. What's worse is that they can't fix other factors that cause you to be depressed.



Medicated (with anything BUT Wellbutrin), I'm much easier for the people in my life to tolerate. I'm more agreeable, I use the sharp side of my tongue considerably less, and I'm less inclined to crawl off on my own and be antisocial. But, it's like putting a blanket over a beehive. The bees are still there, they just aren't out bothering everyone else. Every few months, they'd up the dose, and every few years they'd switch me to something else because what I was using before wasn't 'working' anymore.



I've now been unmedicated for a year. It started with me running out and my prescription expiring at a *bad* time....and I ended up quitting 'cold turkey' (which they tell you not to do for good reason, and I have to agree with them that it is not a good idea). It had happened a few times before, but this time I was sick and tired of the withdrawal followed by re-acclimating. So I didn't start back up.



The people howling the loudest for me to get back on the pills are the very people that make me want to eat the entire bottle at once (don't do that--most modern anti-depressants have no lethal dosage, but you can give yourself serotonin poisoning that way, and trust me that IS fun...until you crash, and then your previous level of depression looks like Candy Land in comparison.) Go figure.

Urrrgh! *they're.

I told my "specialist" about effect of libido with SSRI's he said I am not to bothered about that so he increased them to max dose, still depressed now impotent & have a pituitary tumour due to hormone imbalance, also my testosterone is low the depression inactivity led to diabetes sugar levels are still rising despite meds...it is all a vicious circle of depression

Davey...As I got to see my maternal grandmother die a long, hard death from a combination of type 2 diabetes and a serious junk food habit...and at the time I was morbidly obese...I ended up going vegetarian in my 20's, and now vegan for 10 years. The Ornish diet is pretty close to what I do: http://www.everydayhealth.com/diet-and-nutrition/the-ornish-diet.aspx. Eating like this and exercising at least 20 minutes a day *might* make a great difference in your blood glucose levels. No guarantees, no, but type 2 is really amenable to dietary changes.
I was put on prozac at 16, and it *did* nuke my sex drive at first...this was ok at the time as I had nowhere to drive it to. It came back, and now seems to be far, far too much for my wife to handle...The SSRI's seem to be worse for men in the sex-drive department...
I wonder if the pituitary tumor is causing low T and depression...and what treatment they are giving that tumor, if any?? That sounds alarming.
NHS?

That is not uncommon to adjust the dose .. SSRI meds very much interfere with libido. There are many factors to consider with depression . Exercise, rest, vitamins, vitamin d level, hormone levels... These are some examples along with meds and talk therapy that should be included in the therapeutic plan.

I'm wondering how many here share their "secret shame" with their doctors?

Rhetorical question: How many of us share this aspect of our lives with *anyone?*

Very few, I expect.

You won't get much debate about the issue of doctors prescribing too many meds, not the correct meds, etc.



Happens every day.



You won't get much debate about doctors failing to tell you about the impact of those same drugs on every aspect of your life, to include the intimate life - happens every day.



The only thing you can do is to be your own advocate (or have a trusted other person do it for you if you cannot) and ask questions. Be unrelenting in your search to get better - to the best of your ability. And present to the doctor the impacts the medications have on all aspects of your life.

I'm curious why these doctors don't dig a little deeper into what's going on behind the complaints of depression? It's HARD to tell ANYONE, including your doctor, "My spouse won't have sex with me." If this thing is epidemic (as it appears it may well could be) what's up w/ that?

A lot of factors are involved in the delivery of healthcare. So there is not one reason, but I would say that time, money, entrenched positions, medical training, and man other factors contribute to the current state of a nation's heathcare delivery system. The only action one can take is to be proactive and TELL the doctor what is happening.

That's a lot easier said than done.

Yep it sure is. The problem is a systemic one, and you have to be willing to step forward to speak your mind if you have issues. Like most issues in life (to include the sexless marriage), it is not easy but if you want change, or your issues addressed - you have to be willing to speak up - or else nothing will change. Nobody said it was easy!

There's a saying, "Nothing sanitizes like sunlight." Ain't that the truth?

YES!

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