What You Already KnowI've been surfing here more than replying or responding, but, after reading the 30th new story, I felt the need to speak up.
If you are being refused, there is a great deal that you already know.
You know that you are unwanted, but you don't know why.
You know that it makes you feel horrible in this strange way that is slightly different from other horrible feelings you have had.
You know it makes you feel like a reject, but the destruction of your self esteem happens so slowly you don't see it.
You know you love your spouse, but don't know why they don't love you.
You know you have done everything: romantic settings, wooing for days or weeks.
You know that there is something wrong with your relationship, or your spouse, but don't know what it is.
You know you have given up all for your spouse, and they do not care about making you feel loved.
You know you must find a solution to this problem, as it is unbearable.
But you might not know:
That refusal gives the refuser power.
That your refuser is not innocent - they often have very specific, evil intentions with their refusals.
That you refuser may have been horrifically abused as a child. I suspect that was the case with my ex, but to this day she will not say.
That there is really not much you can do about it.
That this will go on forever if you do not address it.
That if you do not address it, you WILL become a very bitter person.
If you are new here, read, read, read.