My Wife Has No Sex Drive.....

period. Nothing to add. And she's fine with it.
lightpainter lightpainter
61-65, M
4 Responses Sep 5, 2012

Well if we are just going to stand around saying "there there", how's about we have a look at it from the flipside. From MrsLightpainter.<br />
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She would probably hold a very very similar position to brother Lightpainter, namely that "everything is great bar the sex". <br />
But whereas our brother would go on to say - "if only she would engage me sexually, EVERYTHING would be great.<br />
MrsLightpainter would go on to say - "if only he would desist in trying to engage me sexually, EVERYTHING would be great"<br />
<br />
'We' tend to gravitate to brother Lightpainters side and endorse his position as being "right". There would be persons (probably not on this board though) who would gravitate to MrsLightpainters position regarding it as being "right".<br />
<br />
Both positions ARE "right" from an individual choice perspective.<br />
But both positions are "wrong" as applied to a marital situation, simply because the positions lack mutuality. They are wildly different. Fundamentally different. Irreconcilably different.<br />
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In this case, are the differences sufficient for Mrs Lightpainter to want out, so she can be free to seek a sexless partner ? Or for our brother Lightpainter to want out, so he can seek a sexually engaged partner ?<br />
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Obviously not.<br />
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Yet.<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.

Glad you see things from both side of the fence.... you're not a lawyer by any chance are you?

Nah. I do still have some ethics !!!!!!! Incidently, I had a look at your photographic work. Is it a passion of yours, or are you a professional (not that that precludes passion of course) ? It is very good.

Thanks so much... I'm a professional when I get paid for it. Otherwise, I'm just a lowly photographic artist.

You battle depressing, lonely black and white photography? I've seen a lot of weird titles on this site but this one takes the cake. How exactly do you battle lonely, depressing black and white photography?

It was a bullshit group (invented by BlueSpruce I think) which simply took the EP groups with the biggest membership (Being "I Suffer From Depression " "I Live In A Sexless Marriage" "I Enjoy B &amp; W Photography") and rolled them into one bogus group. As you can see, we haven't attracted many members !!!!!

lololol.... too funny. Looks like BlueSpruce has a lot of time on their hands...

3 More Responses

Same here. She's fine with it...me, not so much.

Some people are just fine with no sex life, which makes us sexual people seem like weird perverts or something. How we attained this dubious status for wanting a "normal" sex life I have no idea.

I may, in fact be a weird pervert...BUT SHE KNEW THAT WHEN SHE MARRIED ME! :p

I know, the toaster thing should have been her first hint.

HEHEehehe!

1 More Response

It appears that since your 25th April 2012 story, that nothing has changed, so I got a question for you.<br />
<br />
What have YOU done differently since 25th April 2012 in an attempt to draw this out to resolvement ? Key word = "different".<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.

So, your glib story gives the impression that you are fine with it too. Is that the case?

No I'm not fine with it and I think you misinterpreted.

The "nothing to add" comment elicited my comment. My "misinterpretation" was deliberate because that comment was intended to get you to confront the reality of your situation. Otherwise you will, more than likely, end up as a bitter and broken man.
I am in pretty much the same situation and divorce is not an option for a number of reasons. It was only a few months ago that I realized that I was not fine with it myself. Until that realization I was being eaten alive by the lack of intimacy. It can be so destructive and counseling is not very likely to address sexual issues.
I don't pretend to have the answer for me or for you but my mental health has improved 1000% since I stopped trying to accept the nightmare of being in a sexless marriage. Part of my freedom does involve a girlfriend but the critical change for me has been mental.