Connection Is A Tricky Need To Communicate

A recent conversation with a good friend made me think.

The pain I am experiencing is my wife's disconnection with herself.

Of all the needs I have, connection is one of trickiest needs to communicate.

I've heard it said that we all need inner connection with ourselves before we can connect to another and the degree we can self connect dictates the scope for other connection.

Which leave us, that is my wife and I, in a tough place.

I imagine that many people here are in a similar place. One or more disconnected spouses (who've possibly grown over time but at minimum chose to be involves with a disconnected spouse) and a need that is essentially hard to request and have met.

What a pain in the backside!!!
DangerCat DangerCat
41-45, M
4 Responses Sep 13, 2012

Well... part II we are starting to get there on the connection front... which is great... heading in the right direction but not there yet...

In the broadest sense, one can not be a healthy emotional and intimate partner to another unless you are emotionally and intimately healthy yourself.<br />
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Tread your own path.

Connection requires vulnerability - and as Gibby and you both point out, that ability to be vulnerable is hugely challenging for some people. If you believe yourself to be less than adequate, then being vulnerable means exposing that to your partner - something you will not (can not?) willingly do.<br />
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And as you say, how do you "explain" connection? Such an ephemeral concept and yet one that is so crucial to relationships. If someone doesn't "get" what it means, I cannot imagine how it can be described / explained . . . <br />
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{{{{Hugs}}} to you.