CrumbsSo tired of crumbs of affection. That's what I call it when my H can't even expend the littlest, laziest effort to meet my *absolutely normal* needs. If he does give me what I want, it's only JUST enough to keep me from completely giving up on him. Or it's late, half-assed, incomplete, or done in such a way to make sure I know he's not really trying his best. WTF?
Not just talking about sex, even something as simple as NOT even texting me goodbye before I left for a month on another continent. Ok, I know we are separated, but we've been in almost daily contact about the apt and our taxes----you know, the ones he didn't get around to doing for 4 years without telling me? So before I got on the plane, I told him it hurt my feelings he didn't even bother to text me goodbye.
First he pretended he was going to but he was just late (LATE is right: I was already about to board), then he said he "thought we were on a break and he didn't need to provide that kind of emotional support." How is typing the words "bon voyage" into your phone some kind of insane thing to expect from a guy who 1. says he still loves me 2. admits his issues ruined our marriage and 3. says he hopes we can still get back together?? You'd think he'd maybe try a LITTLE to show it's not all talk. Or all lies. Apparently, it's both.
I told him to keep his damned crumbs and to have a nice life. **** THAT.
I'd rather die of starvation at this point then be kept alive on crumbs with the promise of a feast that never EVER arrives. And never will, clearly.
But most of all, I want to be with someone who doesn't try to control me via affection, or sees my needs as crazy demands.
I WANT A FEAST OF LOVE. Daily. Jointly. Where both people are nourished and full. No more of this crumb crap! Good thing I just arrived in Spain, where the food is tasty and the men delicious. One month traveling around Europe alone...It's time to CHOW DOWN. :D
nyartgal 36-40, F 18 Responses 4 Sep 13, 2012