I Think It's Done

Life is settling in, a little. When I think about the EX, I don't hurt. Not at all. Don't even really miss her. I feel just glad to be away. And, honestly, I feel glad to be doing what I'm doing right now, even if it is not making my a good person by lining my pockets with money. But, I'm teaching, taking classes, and making a ton of friends, who speak at least five different languages, who have amazing capacity, who have goals like me, who walk, talk, and give a **** like me (sorry, eminem reference). I think everyday I meet someone who seems like the smartest person I've ever met.

Then there is the happy journal. Every day I write out three things about a day that make me really happy. And everyday I tell someone something positive, two people if I can. And every day, sure enough, seems better than the last. I'm sure there will be some bad days.

But I feel like I'm running on a whole new engine. Honestly part of it is being away from the negativity of being a teacher of record, subbing is easy because you only invest in the kids for a day, not for three years. And no one makes me feel stupid, not on any day. Those that did, had their ties severed. And while I used to say never burn a bridge, why keep up a bridge to pain?

The other part is that I can tell I'm making a good impression on the staff and students in one of my classes, and soon I will understand how to do that in my other class too. People treat me like I'm very smart, ie, IQ smart, not just music smart, and this is a first for me.

It makes me think back to my self image being formed, and how much I allowed others to form my image of myself. I think this has alot to do with ending up in a sexless marriage.

And I don't feel the need to talk about sexless marriage, think about it, and honestly, it is not even on my mind. Still having a few moments of stress, but overall, I have less stress now than I have my entire adult life.

And it feel ******* GREAT!!



FilteringMachine FilteringMachine
31-35, M
12 Responses Sep 13, 2012

I am going to borrow your idea and start listing three things everyday too.

Good for you!

Good. For. You. :)

So happy for you!

Glad to hear life is so much better for you. Take time to get to know and treasure your authentic self before you launch into another relationship. That way you can be as certain as possible of finding the right person for you. {{{Hugs}}}

Most excellent!

So happy for you!

Awesome for you
:o)

This is the type of post I look for as it inspires me to move forward with my own exit strategy. Thanks for sharing and I wish you continued success and happiness in your new life.

Dumping life depleting persons out of your orbit, and admitting life enhancing persons into your orbit is a choice that tends to result in a consequence of you "feeling ******* GREAT!!"

Tread your own path.

Congratulations! Your documented journey has been long and painful. Glad to see you're coming out a better person.

It's about ******* time.
Good to hear bro.