My Life As A Single MomLast year, the deal was if one person took our son to school, the other person would get him dressed. Even after I was no longer working and taking him to school every day, he would still get him dressed.
This has stopped without discussion. He sits there doing nothing while I'm running around trying to get my son ready. Get him out of bed. Get him dressed. Get him out the door and off to school.
In a few weeks I'm volunteering at a big week-long conference. It's a huge networking opportunity for me as well as free attendance to useful sessions. He's been on me to start work again and I want to! But I had to negotiate hard for him to do two pickups and FORGET drop-offs, since he usually lies about until 10 and rarely leaves the house before noon. He told me had arranged so that he could pick up our son at 5 most days. But that i wasn't to 'exploit' that.
He's never sat down with our son and done homework. He's never been out to see regular weekend sport, never mind get him ready and take him. He's never taken him to a museum. He's declined opportunities to come along with us to museums and amusement parks. He now barely sees him on Sundays since we're out doing sport in the morning and in the afternoon he goes to one of his Dungeons and Dragons groups.
It's true it's a lot easier to just walk out of the house when he's upstairs, but his method of childcare is to be on his computer upstairs while my son watches tv downstairs.
I'm not doing EVERYTHING, but I'm doing the vast majority of stuff. He's implied that unless I 'act like a real wife' - i.e. return to the marital bed he won't even do the small share of stuff he did when I was working full time. So basically all that I'm doing now, plus working full time, too. Note that there was no mention of 'sex' - though he probably does want to resume his normal. A few times a year of bad sex in which he doesn't want me to move during foreplay.
So basically I'm a single mom. Except if were a single mom I wouldn't have someone criticising the way I make a sandwich or put on socks or undermining my decisions constantly in front of my son.