After The Last "failure" Wife Does Not Say "i Love You" Anymore

When the last time me and Mrs attempted sexual relations she no long responds with "I love you" like she usually did. Is this a sign or am I being paranoid?
loyalguy loyalguy
41-45, M
8 Responses Sep 15, 2012

its always going to be hard to move on, but the couples that are meant to be are the ones who go through everything thats designed to tear them apart and come out even stronger..

Your marriage is dead. Find a nice headstone for it, and move on already.
Why do you keep holding a handful of broken glass that is cuting you up and keep asking "why is it broke". It's broke, it's a fact. Now you choose to live in nostalgia. That's your choice. So it didn't work out, get over it, or sulk till you 95. Give yourself a chance to enjoy the rest of your life. I have my fingers crossed for you.

In my circles I am quite a figure for my brutal honesty. The day I realized I had no romantic love left for my wife, I told her. Curiously, she does not seem to care much. We don't need each other's money or house, our professional acquaintances by far outnumber friends and social connections, but she still seems to like a placeholder for a spouse.

And why is your name still etched on that placeholder?

ne of my favourite sayings (of which I have many) is Dr. Phil's:
"Where is the evidence for that?"
LG, where is the evidence for your wife still loving you? She won't say it. She doesn't want to have sex with you. Both of these are pretty powerful pieces of evidence that she does NOT love you anymore, IMO.

u both are disconnected and on totally different pages. u have lost sexual desires and feelings for eachother, but, u still deeply care about eachother. so how do u get back on track? u open up to eachother and take in ones feelings of abandonment. try for one nite. stay up and talk about ur feelings, thats it, no sex. share and be grown adults about it without getting mad at eachother. find a solution to ur problem. tell eachother a secret. and take their feelings seriously. then maybe once u guys open up and are comfortable u will have amazing fuken sex and be more close to eachother. not just after 1 nite but do it continuously if u can. because if u really love eachother, u will always make time for one another, day or nite. trust i learned from experience :)


Double ugh!

I think the better question is why do you keep torturing yourself?

Yes and like a fool I worry about hurting her...

I know's a damn shame i still "why" chase but i guess it's the part of me that needs to know everything which i know i never will.....

Don't feel bad. Though I would not admit it very often here. I still find myself chasing the why more times than I would like. Why many here would have us give up and perhaps we should, I think there are some of us whose love remains deep for our spouses and we hae not yet reached the point of no return. No one ever said love was a rational thing. Stay strong.

If you actually knew the "why", on what basis do you figure that you could fix it ?

Do not know that I could. Probably could not. But I have always been someone who seeks answers. A weakness? Perhaps. Who I am? Yes.

There are all sorts of methods of communication.

The best, and most transparent method - where there can be no error as to intention - is by actions.

There is also body language which can, by little nuances of gesture, posture etc give further clues as to intent.

Then, there is 'speech'. Here, what is said as an intent, might be verified by the ensuing action, or it might not. But a large part of verbal communication resides in what is NOT said. This can often be far more revealing than what actually IS said.

Anyway brother L, it would seem that you are still, to some extent, "why" chasing. At some level you must think that this is still fixable and that you can fix it. At some point you will figure that you can't fix it, and then you'll cease the "why" chasing and move on to that very last choice.

Tread your own path.