Hard Questions / Hard Answers

Whichever side of the equation you're on...

How many of you men feel like a meal ticket?
How many of you women?

Now...answer so the other side might understand what you're feeling:
How many of you men view your spouse as a meal ticket?
How many of you women?

Also, if you can, list out the positives of what you possess in the relationship and also please list the negatives.

Do tell.

Fool4Waiting Fool4Waiting
56-60, F
1 Response Sep 16, 2012

I am not a meal ticket - I am a mouse in a maze. A maze, for which until a wall is moved, there is no solution.

Some folks - men or women here are:

Some married the "bad boy" to try and improve him through their "love and understanding"...if he enjoys hanging out at the bar and spending most of his check....if he consistently fobs you off to hang out with the guys....if he gets bothered when things move a little slow at your kids recital, because he is wasting his time here....he could be hanging out with the guys. He prefers this to working on anything. He is a turd and will always be a turd.

Some married Mrs. It.... She wanted all the trappings of the sub-urban, detached /semi-detached upper middle class checklist. Only she did not describe it as such when you were dating, she just asked little "harmless questions" ...like do you like kids? (2 or 3 seems a good number). She made remarks like ...."that lovely art-deco modern on a full acre lot has real curb appeal". These were not expressions of a shared dream of what life could be - these were attempts to make sure you were going to fill out the list. Now you are at some point past your late 30's and you have either delivered the list - or you have, in her mind, likely waited too late to fulfill it in its entirety. You have done all she wanted, or you are seen as likely not ever doing it all. She is a turd and will always be a turd.

I married a woman that wanted neither of the above....or maybe just the kids....because she is one herself. Kids are not turds....but neither are they ready for marriage. Though they may grow into a turd. I am convinced that one day in the coming three years my wall will be moved and I will solve this maze.

One cannot polish a turd into a diamond.

The good in me:

I posses a strong work ethic and have provided for her and the family a safe and fairly nice home.

I can be loving and caring and I do not very often hang-out anywhere. I enjoy giving nice things to people I love, either purchased things, or in time/effort given of myself.

I enjoy touch, intimacy and loving

I am funny, and very willing to make fun of myself - and others too.

I care for those I love, including learning how to do medical care that should have been the kind of thing only medical people do.

I can be devoted.


The bad:

I have a temper and can be a little short on patience - this is usually worse when I am tired.

I have a difficult time expressing myself verbally when I am argued with. If there is little give and take in the argument I will tend to want to give-up or want to take a break and return to the discussion after I calm down.

There ya go......where are you going with this question I wonder?