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Time To Move On

It has been a while since I've posted anything. After months of thinking things over, I have moved out of my husband's home because I can no longer live a lie. We had a decent conversation over the matter. I said there is no passion and he agreed. He said he was willing to stay in the marriage because he enjoys the things we do together, as do I; however, I am finding myself attracted to someone else, and I promised my husband I would leave before having another affair.
So, for the first time in over ten years, I am on my own--I have my own space, yet I seem lost. I try to live one day at a time and not worry too much about the future. Funny how all of this came about near the 5th anniversary of my previous husband's death. My current husband helped me through that horrible time, and I admit I married him out of a sense of obligation. I should have hurt him four years ago by refusing his proposal because that amount of hurt would have been much less than what he is going through now.
amyw27 amyw27 41-45, F 10 Responses Sep 16, 2012

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opps not again i thought u story wil end with" they lived happiley ever after lol"

It is always a work in progress...

You still have to live your life - you were honest and you hurt too - but it did neighther of you any good living a lie. This was a big step. Well done.. I would enjoy chatting more.

would luv to chat with you..see my site and pics

I'm too old fashioned for this, but if you insist on being a serial wife I think your next husband (5th,6th, 7th? whatever) and yourself should look into becoming swingers. That way, when you get bored in the relationship you both can hook up with others to spice it up. This may be the only way you can break your cycle of messing up other people's marriage and causing pain to whoever your current husband happens to be. I know couples that swing, who have been married for decades, that would otherwise be like you. Not for me, but you sound like a candidate for that lifestyle. You've already been swinging anyway, just without your husband. Just sayin.

Ouch.

You said you came here for some tough luv:)

Just calling like I see it...

Amy you've moved on, take it one day at a time. Sounds like there is someone else to share your life with now, enjoy!!!

Sister Chai's observation that "no-one ever says, I wish I had stayed another 3 months / 3 years" springs to mind here. Usually, the feeling is quite the reverse of that where one wishes they'd done it earlier.

But your timing sister amy, is YOURS, and it inevitably works out to have been the right time for you.

Well done. Getting used to your 'new normal' takes a while. It's a daily process in the early stages.

Tread your own path.

Read my previous 21 stories and you will know my history

"and I promised my husband I would leave before having another affair."

So you already cheated on your husband once? In 4 years of marriage? WOW. Sounds like he never go over that. And you were never committed to him. Best thing for both of you is to go your separate ways.

I'm very sorry to hear this. After your last story I thought your situation had a rare happy ending. Oh well, that seldom happens these days. Your husband sounded like a heck of of a man who dearly loves you. I hope the new guy measures up after the initial infatuation phase. Remember that passion goes BOTH ways. You can't complain about not receiving it, unless you are giving it.

You didn't know then what you know now so there's a reason why you agreed to marry him. There are lessons that relationship taught you that no other experience would have brought your way.

I applaud your integrity and courage. I'm 2 weeks into my separation and find myself struggling too. These changes are desperately difficult, but in your heart you know without a doubt it is the right decision. Be kind to yourself and patient. Doors will open and a new life will emerge.