Short Update

To all who know me...

Hope you are all well and have found some peace and happiness...

I have gone the bad 'go cheat' way. I I helped myself to the love of a man . I meet my man very few times and we have very little time together.Me and my man are painstakingly discreet and now I dont have any conversations anymore at home around changing. I dont feel too good about myself about the cheating bit and I dont want my child modelling her life over mine.

Still there are only so many battles I could fight.The hardest for me is not to get emotionally sucked up into all this and my man helps me do that. I am happy about me and him.
Swabhava Swabhava
36-40, F
3 Responses Sep 17, 2012

Sister Swab.

I am hoping that you have a fall back plan for the scenario where this is discovered, and the repurcussions that may ensue.

Tread your own path.

Baz, My husband knows I am in touch with this man. He does not know of course the extent to which our relationship has grown. But I fail to understand how anybody would not know, unless they prefer not to. We dont speak at all anyome of any of all this. We are a family where there is no wife and no husband , just two grown people just keeping things together. My husband is now out of a job , looking for a job, I am working hard at a stressful job and spending a lot of time pepping him up and trying to find out how he could find a job or start something on his own. 100% of our conversations are around his job or my daughter. And we both look after our daughter. No one looks or speaks of the other grey things I do. We dont speak of separation either.

I do not know your story but understand where you are.

Your guilt and the concerns about your choice not being the one you'd like your daughter to live will hopefully abate - if not now, when the affair ends, as they all do at some point. You can burn up a lot of the good in your decision by beating yourself up over it.

I say - "take the good and leave the bad."

You have made a choice. In our position I think our choices should be good for our emotional health. I do hope you can find comfort in your decision at all levels. We all have expectations, feelings of entitlement, promises made, promises broken. But in the end we have to live this life, as I am sure you would tell me and have told yourself.


Best to you

Swabhava, it is so good to hear from you. I think about you from time to time and wonder how you're getting along.


I understand about the cheating -- sometimes it feels like the only way we can keep ourselves sane. I am happy that you have found some intimacy -- you deserve it.

I echo everything MissLee just said. I've been hoping you're ok. I'm glad you've found some solace and I hope everything works out as best as it can.

Thank You. MissLee hope things are going good for you. I am trying to do this sensibly. I am already emotionally involved and so is he. If we can keep it discreet and if we can keep it for life or atleast part agreeably, then it would be ok. When I have grown very old he is one of the memories I would like to think of and smile about secretly to myself.

I think that is wonderful. :)