Talk Is WorthlessReading all the stories on EP, including my own, I'm so struck by how we desperately look for signs of hope in what our spouses say.
"But he SAID he's trying."
"She SAYS she loves me."
"We TALKED about things."
"She PROMISED to work on her issues."
"He AGREED to go to counseling."
Etc etc etc.
What if we ignored words completely and just concentrated on their actions? My H is a master at excuses, smokescreens, denial, blame, empty promises, etc. But if I subtract all the talk, it's pretty obvious from his behavior how much he ACTUALLY cares about meeting my needs: zip, zilch, nada, niente, bupkus. He's never actually done anything to fix our marital problems, he's not doing anything now and he never will. ob
Doesn't matter what they say: ALL that matters is what they do.