Not Really Sm, Exactly, But Could Use Your AdviceOK, so this isn't really related to a sexless marriage. Although maybe it is. But I could really use your thoughtful advice on this.
My mother is in her second marriage. I believe it to have been largely sexless, they've been in separate bedrooms for 15 years, maybe longer. I think she often denied my dad as well, although he was a hopeless drunk - so I'm not sure how much was her being a narcissistic refuser and how much it was him being a hopeless drunk - though I guess the two may be intertwined.
The marriage is certainly sexless now. My stepfather is dying. She seems to have moved on to victim number 3 already. If there isn't something going on, she certainly seems to have a crush on him. When she was visiting me this summer it was Joe this and Joe that. She spent her birthday with Joe (and maybe some other people). She sees him several times a month at a class they're both involved with. For the record, I've met Joe and he seems like a nice enough guy. I don't believe there was anything going on at the time I met him over a year ago.
My brother is visiting them right now. When he walked in the house she was working on a large oil portrait of Joe. It's very visibile and very obvious. My brother is very upset by this. He's less upset by the fact she may be seeing someone than he is by this blatant disrespect to a dying man. Especially since she'll be free to pursue whatever in probably 3-9 months.
My brother wants to say something, but he knows she's a narcissist who really doesn't care about other people's feelings. He wants to her to take away the painting and to watch her behaviour a little bit to cause our stepfather less distress.
Any advice on tiptoeing around this subject would be greatly appreciated?