Our date night took a back seat to the USC game, the Dodger game and the Chavez/Martinez fight. I have been doing so much thinking and the other night I got really scared. I don't want to live the rest of my life feeling not good enough. I'm tired of ache in my heart that has been there so long I don't remember what life felt like without it. I want to feel important and needed and desired. And I know deep in my soul that I am fighting a losing battle. I'm still young enough that I still have a chance at love, real love. ( does it exsist?) But I think I'm mature enough to be content if I spend the rest of my life alone. At least this way there are no let downs. Only me to depend on.
And the intimacy and sex thing......well it seems I may have to stock up on stuffed animals and batteries. ;D
So when my kids have gone home in two weeks I'm asking for a divorce. I'm finished....
baabes72 baabes72
41-45, F
11 Responses Sep 18, 2012

Sorry to see that, Baabes... It's really hard to make a move like that. I'm not married, but sure hate the idea of leaving my family behind with this great house. But maybe if things can improve...

But also... stuffed animals? haha. :) just wanted to tease ya!

So sorry for what you've had to go through, but it sounds as though you're making the right decision.

Sorry for your pain and tough road ahead. There are men in the world who are going through similar issues so yes you can find love,attention, appreciation. Why else do we put so much energy into building our lives together if we are neglecting the needs of our spouses? Not a big fan of depression medication, but if you do make the choice to leave, Cymbalta can be a life saver for a short period of time. You'll know pretty soon if its right for you. It takes away the anxiety and allows you to deal with extremely difficult situations. Used it during the passing of my father. Doesn't remove the pain, just allows you to smile in front of your kids. Best of luck.

I'd suggest buying a treadmill and an Ipod. Don't focus on weight loss or distance/time goals on the treadmill. Just get on, get some good music and walk. You'll get the same effect as meds.

take care dear, it's not an easy road, so make sure you take all the advice necessary from qualified people than take the decision to divorce or stay in marriage.

Yes, do make sure you get your exit plan ready and get yourself mentally prepared for a hard depressing tough road, but know what your ultimate goal is and the sacrifices it will take to get there.


Get all your ducks in a row (visit an attorney, copies of financial docs, etc), and have your exit plan in place. Once you make your spouse aware that you are even CONSIDERING divorce, everything gets much more difficult, because they begin to plan for their part in an adversarial fashion.

Better to get the information you need now, while it's still easy to do so. Visit for more info... and have a consultation with an attorney before you talk to your spouse, because he/she will make **** up to keep you from proceeding. Get the facts from the expert.

Hey I just finished veiwing your profile and reading your stories, and let me say you aren't alone and I truly do feel your pain. I am guessing you are like me too and sticking around cause you have kids and if this is the case let me tell you how I deal with it. I suggest you find what you are missing on the side this way it makes the best of a bad situation and makes you home life more tolerable because you are getting what you are lacking. I doubt you will have any problems finding some one as I am sure there are plenty of guys willing but if I can make a suggestion it would be to look for a married guy in a similiar situation that way you both are on the same page and have similar things in common

You deserve so much more. See a lawyer and get on with the rest of your life.

Sounds like we both had a bad night. There is so much going through my head with my own situation that I don't even know what to say. I so bad want my marriage to work that I'm willing to stay and just keep sleeping on the sofa. Are you finished or just mad at the moment? Did you try talking to him?

Yay! THATS thee attitude! €:-}

Seen a lawyer yet ? If not, it would be a good idea to get your skates on and do so.

Tread your own path.