I Now Remember Why I Have Almost Quit Coming Here

Every once in a while... I come back and visit this group. All it does for me now is open up old wounds and makes me depressed all over again... and just so you know... nothings changed... and it never will.
baker998 baker998
56-60, M
7 Responses Sep 22, 2012

I concur. This group is really depressing to a member of. Sure it is great to hear from other people in the same situation but no one has any answers. It is like we are all doomed to the same fate. I try not to dwell here too long. I just makes me sad for myself.

I find this place refreshing. As unfortunate as it is it is good to hear and know there are others in the same boat.

Also i hang around as i feel my two cents worth might offer a glimmer of hope to someone. Altough i dont have the perfect marriage i have managed to reverse the sexless side of it.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

When I joined this site... there were 4200 members in this group. Look how its grown.

Hmmm, and for me, this site gives me hope. Why? Well, because now I know I 'm not a freak for wanting intimacy within a commited relationship. I am not alone in my struggles. And those that have resolved their sm issues stick around and shine a light, or offer some compassion, or kick some butt.

And some days, it can just feel so bleak and tiring.

that, sir,
is one of the most hopeless statements
i think i've read on here....
my heart feels you...
joyinthejourney, clg

Sorry you're feeling that, even though you described some options previously.

Did you decide what to do with her offer of opening the marriage? FWIW, I don't think you now need permission given the unilateral decision she's made - you only need to evaluate whether that would work for you and be realistic about the practicalities and risks.

Maybe the other option is to persuade her to satisfy her desires for travel on her own or with some buddies. For a long time. I know my wife had the notion that we would, in our dotage, go off travelling round the world in an RV. I was incredulous that she felt that I would want to go to lovely places cooped up in a sexless box with her.

i cannot believe you just said that...
my husband talked about the same
RV scenario....
all i could think was NOOOO WAY
i can hardly stand to be in a car with you for an hour's drive....
an rv?traveling? seriously?
joyinthejourney, clg

Exactly - noooooooo. Shows how clueless they pretend to be. I'd rather have been unspeakably tortured than endure that.

Well the problem remains constant, it's only the names that rotate through the problem that change.

Some names start, and finish here real quick.
Some names start, stay a while and then disappear after a month or two, and we never find out what happened to them.
Some names start and stay quite a while and end up resolving their dysfunctional marriage (usually by getting out).

Good to see you around brother baker - I recall you being on deck here when I was a newbie.

Tread your own path.

I'm so sorry.
...I feel a lot of empathy for you.
I want to thank you for reminding me I do not want things to be this sucky 10 years from now.