It's Intimacy That I Crave; Not A Half Nelson!

I sleep on the couch most every night. But, for whatever reason, I fell asleep in bed tonight. In the middle of the night, I was awoken when my husband tried to give me a half nelson; he actually thinks that this is an affectionate thing to do.
I kicked him as hard as I could. Okay, I know that this is not a nice thing to do but, Really, after 22 years of marriage he actually thinks that this is a funny thing to do? I mean is this idiotic or what? I don't have any desire to be intimate with him any longer, he trashed that. Is this kind of behavior from a man bazaar or what? I've reached middle age and I just want to be a woman already. The pathetic thing is that, he truly hasn't realized that a woman is more fragile than a man.
Anyway, I went back to my couch, read some emails. It actually took me hours before I began realize exactly why I was so upset about between being touched in this way, when I can't really be with a man.

So, I am sitting here, crying alone.
amithecrazyone amithecrazyone
46-50, F
11 Responses Sep 23, 2012

you sad ******

sorry to hear that hope all ok

I am so sorry to read this Amithecrazyone.

Please be careful, and take steps to ensure your personal safety.

Payne x

I'm not sure what a half Nelson is....but I can relate to being in a relationship where the other partner has trashed the intimacy part of the relationship. Unfortunately I still hope that this aspect will change. At 37 I no longer desire to be "humped" by a man. Its NOT a turnon for my spouse to grab my breast or grope me like my breast are tv tuners. The only affection shown by my spouse is when he's ready....who lives like this? I used to treat sex like a chore, now I feel at 37, my hormones are raging! But not for a quick romp! I'd rather go without then be subjected to 7 mins of someone else's pleasure. Only to be left with a wet butt, and discouraged heart!

There is nothing funny or wonderful about your sad feelings and crying in this way! I want you to understand that many things go on in a relationship that should be stoped when they start. This is sometimes a hard thing to do because other things are tied to them. Well, It is now time to start the ball rolling on what it is you want and need to see from what it is you are now expericencing. I am sorry you are having this in your life right now but you need to be strong and really look at your responsibility to both you and your mate. Do not just think about only you. Look at the total picture. EVERYTHING!!!! Be honest and know that the truth will be the only and i mean the only thing that you will be able to live with no matter what the outcome. Do not cheat yourself and above all else, do not listen to friends and family that have some kind of agenda. You will forever hate the results if you do. I am living on the back side of a huge relationship lost because of that very reason. One day at a time and do not rush to judgment. You will do great things if you let yourself do great things.

I feel your pain. The last time my DH touched me was months ago and that was to wake me up from a sound sleep by sticking his finger in my ***. Ack.

that's just creepy! I don't even know what that means

It was my a**. And yes, it's creepy. I yelled at him to stop, which he did. Now I'm not sure if he's punishing me or just doesn't want sex. Such a jerk sometimes!

So at what point are you going to do all concerned a favour and take this marriage off life support.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

Mutual nude wrestling is pretty cool fun I reckon. Your cementheads version of it, not so much.

The evidence for giving him the arse keeps piling up, doesn't it.

What masterstroke of idiocy - or further accumulation of little bits of idiocy - need to happen to clinch the case ?

You are judge and jury on that one.

Tread your own path.

Now as to the half Nelson. Just rake the **** out of his inner thigh and knee with your free leg one time as hard as you can. Like a long kick. He will loosen his lock. Then curl in to a ball and reach between your lehgs to grab his balls and unit and pull. He should release. And you not. "we need to talk" might be the thing to say about then.

Not sure this will work smoothly so you may want to add that to things in your affair advertisment " wish to practice many positions". Smiles are better than tears. Best to you.

Oh My God! I think I wet my pants reading this. If I could actually do such a thing, he would know better than to try this move

Hugs. If you've checked out then so be it. But something was on his mind last night. If you have the energy to really work through where he was perhaps there is value for you in his answers. Mayb even inspiration to leave or try one more round while staying.

"a half nelson" What is it?

a wrestling move. But don't worry about what it is, just know that you are happier not having experienced it.