Almost There

I have closed on the new house, found a new job and will be relocating in a week to a new city (Atlanta) 4 hours away. My husband and I really need to live together. Financially it is beneficial and i believe it is good for our children. However, he states "we must live as husband and wife." Now his idea of husband and wife means no sex (we haven't been together in years, no kissing, touching or any type of intimacy) I actually wonder sometimes if he is not gay and I have been a cover for him. He grew up in a very fundamental christian family who would have thrown him out. I told him I cannot live like that. I agreed to live with him but have a lover on the side. I don't want to cheat and worry about getting caught. He said that is not the christian way for a husband and wife to live and is currently livid with me. He actually is not speaking to me. I am the breadwinner in this family so he has informed me he will be moving into a hotel as he cannot afford to live on his own. He also is the one who drove me into foreclosure and bankrupcy. However, I have tried to put that all aside and do what is best for everyone involved. The last time I wrote about my plight I was chastised on here but that is not what I need. I come here for support from my SM friends. Anyway, I guess this is how it will play out. I will be moving with my 3 teens to ATL. I worry about being alone at 50 even though I look good and am very independent. I am not asking financial support from him as I know he cannot pay it. I am somewhat nervous about all these changes, not to mention that I also lost my mom 4 months ago. I just hope I will be ok after this week! Thanks for listening~
HAR1978 HAR1978
46-50, F
3 Responses Sep 23, 2012

I 100% support you making a move and doing YOUR thing. I have no idea why the very confused husband is coming and living in a hotel when you think you should live together? Maybe I missed several parts to this situation?

<p>What a splendid decision! How wise and temperate of you! I am in awe of your thoughtfulness and your unselfish behaviour. How fortunate indeed are your children and your husband. You are noble, self-sacrificing and a true martyr! Well done!!<br />
<br />
(I hope this qualifies as not being "chastising".)</P><br />

I'm not chastising here, I'm asking a question.

Back on your last story about the shift (and that included dumping the drone at that point) I asked you to tell me - "Please, PLEASE tell me you have this all stitched up with a lawyer so the drone can't get his hooks in to your new house and your new life".

Has he out flanked you ?

Tread your own path.