And I Ask Myself....how Did I Get Here?Although I have been in a sexless (or near sexless) marriage for years - I had no idea the magnitude of this problem. I was convinced for a long while that I must be in this hell all by myself, that I must being doing something wrong, that I must deserve what I was getting (not getting). I did not know that there were other people who shared the same feelings of rejection as me. That is, until one day, while searching for answers on the internet, I found a story by an unknown author titled "This is What a Sexless Marriage Feels Like". The link is below, but if it does not work, you can just google the title and get to the Open Salon website where it is posted. When I read this story, my jaw dropped....and I read it over and over again realizing, finally, through another person's words, just how terrible my situation was...just how deep the pain is felt. I was so moved by this story that I immediately stopped searching for answers - because I had found it. The answer was I needed to get away....I needed to accept that nothing would change unless I forced it to happen. I stopped trying to "fix" my marriage.
I'm sure some of the veterans in this forum have already seen this story, but I post the link here in case others have not found it yet. This story was a game changer for me....after reading it - that's how I arrived on EP and stumbled into the ILIASM group.