Now It Starts

Today it will begin.

Rehearsed the start of the conversation - check

Basics packed and in the car - check

Important documents packed - check

Sufficient emergency funds for one month's expenses - check

Separate banking accounts established - check

Ensure that all debt will be discharged - check

Ready to change credit cards - check

Firearms and ammunition locked away, extra trigger guards - check

Investigated counseling if that is possible - check

Investigated lawyer if that is necessary - check

Investigated forensic accountant if that is necessary - check

Identified initial and final place to live - check

Anything that I am missing?

An Update - Thursday Evening - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Well, our discussion was stressful for both of us, and the realization that I was prepared to be responsible for my own happiness was actually a shock to her.  It was a lot of discussion of both the good and bad in our sexual relationship and how we both have contributed to the situation.  [As some of you following my neurotic ramblings have seen, I do have issues also].  And the discussion then became serious; what I need and want, what she needs and wants, what are the different possibilities moving forward.
  • We have determined what our improved sexual relationship will look like.
  • We have decided to get counseling both to make progress and to put my issues to rest so that I can focus on the present.
  • She will obtain medical help for her issues, both physical and for her libido.
  • We have ironed out expected milestones and discussed my options if those milestones are not met.
  • In the meantime we will separate finances and clear any encumbrances to prepare for whatever may happen.
I end convinced that she has a lot of love for me even though she has not been a vigorous and imaginative sexual partner.  And, we will see.  I don't know whether to hope or not.
GTR1400 GTR1400
61-65, M
3 Responses Nov 1, 2012

Well done. You have done everything you can possibly do to move forward in an empowered and compassionate way. Now it's time to wait and see. One foot in front of the other....keep your resolve steady...hold to your deadlines....mark any improvement or misfires. Good for you for being brave enough and strong enough to believe in your own happiness.

The lawyer part needs to be locked down, not 'to be investigated'.

(That is in an ideal scenario. But you don't get bonus points for the best exit, or points for artistic merit either. The mission is getting out. The "how" is only of relevance in making the process as "easy" as possible.

Good luck.

Tread your own path.

Good luck, you've covered the practical bases, perhaps add - change passwords for online accounts for various things, or set up new accounts.

I guess I was thinking as well:

Trust yourself;

and react with honesty and compassion.