Gay, Sexless, and In Love

My partner and I have been married for six years.  When I met him, he was not pushy to get into a sexual relationship at all and I loved it.  After we had dated for several months, our sexual relationship developed.

He asked me to marry him and we moved in together.  Our relationship was bumpy and we attended therapy for several years.  Sex became less and less often. 

Our emotional relationship is substantially better now.  We do not have sex at all.  We have discussed it in therapy and examined different reasons why our relationship has become sexless.  Unfortunately, my partner is unwilling to do anything that our therpist has suggested.

I am losing my mind.  My sex drive has diminished but I still want to have a sexual relationship with my partner.  I have tried everything I can to make him happy and nothing seems to work.

Can anyone relate?

Any suggestions?


vorcha vorcha
5 Responses Jul 20, 2008

hi<br />
i ham partner -he say to me you are not sex less for me.he say he will cut with me if iam not sexi for he.our i must allow him to have sex with some one else- I am losing my mind any one khnow what to do me?sos

I'm in the same situation and it's frustrating for me. My husband wakes up every morning and takes high blood pressure pills and his weight is a factor. We both have gained since we met, him more than I but I still pitch tents in the morning. <br />
I have sexual dreams about other people but I have been faithful. It just gets swept under the rug. I really don't know what to do and at this point I really don't feel sexually attracted to him anymore, I guess its more or a companionship relationship now.

i agree with passionfalls... your comments are always so inlinghtning... <br />
has he told you why he doesn't want it anymore? maybe that is something you both need to discuss...<br />
best of luck to you...

Sorry you're in this frustrating situation. It's sad that he won't try your therapist's suggestions. It's good that he's going to the therapist sessions, but what's the use when he won't try a few things?<br />
<br />
Maybe he needs to find out if he truly loves you like a lover, and not like a fun roommate. Getting away for a bit will give him a clue of how life would be without you.<br />
<br />
Good luck.

yes..i have quite a similar situation where husband doesnt really care and ignore to improve situation. I think his ego makes him and pretends that everything is inorder. sometimes its hard to cooperate with someone who didnt even bothered as much as we do and doesnt weight the problem the same way.