Feeling Sorry For MyselfCan I engage in a little self pity on this forum? Well I'm guessing i already have in the past, but this morning it hit me how utterly lonely I feel.
I have 'blocked' the EX from most of my life events - haven't told him I got that patent!!! etc, just go through the motions with him - yet I don't have anyone right now that I can feel that close to. So I'm "blocking out" the good interactions now too with him, yet have no replacement... void... I mean the sexless void was there for years, still is, and I'm used to that, but I think I'm feeling lonely now because the FRIENDSHIP thing is starting to feel hollow too.
I did start to interact on dating sites, but after the initial rush of communicating and even meeting a person or two, the distance between starting all over again and where I want to be with someone is astronomical, I'm very confused and uncertain .... not sure what's going on there.
You'd think someone in my shoes would just "jump" the first person they meet, but somehow that's not in my nature. or maybe I've been out of the game wayyyyy too long.
Been disappointed for so long, I find it hard not to act sarcastic on the dating sites.
Just venting a little this morning. Thanks.
ETA: the kids' hallowe'en chocolates are calling my name... dammit... because master-b-tion just aint cutting it
zsuzsilowinger 36-40, F 9 Responses 2 Nov 4, 2012