Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Do I Need To Keep Trying? Or Is It Too Mucha Lready?

I need advice on what to do. I got married in a bit more than a year ago. Since the very begining I notice that my new husband was a lier. We met on real life for very few amount of time, most of our relation was built over the internet as we lived so far from each other. For that reason I wanted to give a chance to our marriage, because he also apoligized, so I just go on. Since the very begining I got chest infection, and I thought that he was being nice to me by not having sex while I was ill. I even thank him for such a nice gesture. I was ill for 4 weeks. But after that time just went on, and it was the same thing, we were not having sex! I asked him why? What was happening? And he came with all kind of stupid answers. Finally one day he said he had erections problems, and I thought ok, then we need to do something about. He didn't want to go to the doctor, (and he stills doesn't want to go). But he told me that it was better for him if we have sex in the morning, before he went to work, and I agreed. Again, only very seldom times we had sex, so again I complained. And he put all kind of excuses, "is because I don't want to pressure you on the morning", etc. I told him, that for me it was ok. Well, it turns out that we still strugling with the same thing. And I recenlty discovered that he has been on sex web sites! And mansturbating because he smells bad sometimes! My question is why he got married with me. I am a person with physical disability, but very well educated, and in my country I used to earn more than average people, including here in the UK would have been a very good salary. I feel very desapointing, as when I confront him he always apologize, and he even asks me not to give up on him. But unfortunally, he hasn't appreciate much that I really love him, and that is the reason why I keep forgiving him. He feels confident about me, that I really love him. Actually is such a long story of upsettings and apoligizings. I am getting tired!! Please someone help me and advice me!
sweetsnowdrop sweetsnowdrop 41-45 7 Responses Nov 5, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

Thanks to all of you for your kind response. And yes, there is more to say, that is why I know he is a lier, but is a long story. He always has treated me very nice though (taking me to the doctor, doing dishes for me, only basic and physical help). These answers will help me to take a decision on what I was already thinking for a little while. Thanks!

I hate to start with the obvious but why on earth would you marry someone you hardly knew anything about?

He is not someone upon whom you cannot depend and someone with your physical limitations needs someone she can count on. Sex is probably the least of your concerns.

I don't feel you need advice about your sexless marriage, I feel you need advice on how to get out quickly before too much damage is done to you. I hate to say this, but he sounds like a real dirt bag.

I met him physicaly for very little, and I met his parents and children (he is previously divorced) a bit after we met. We got married a year after being in touch online, and few other meetings in real life. But you are right, at the end, not being closer physically can be as not really knowing him.

-----"He feels confident about me, that I really love him."

And he is taking full advantage of your love for him. He is using your love and compassion as a club over your head. He feels confident not necessarily in your love for him, but that you will not LEAVE him.

So he feels entitled to engage in all sorts of behaviors that corrode the marital bond over time knowing full well that there will be no negative consequences for his actions.

You say he is a liar. That means there is no trust. You have been married only one year.

What do you think you will do to improve the overall quality of your life?

Yes,he is a liar... Does it matter WHY? Maybe he does not have place to live... Maybe he is lazy and you cook for him... Maybe something else...
Get out... He is not up to anything good....

I don think so he luv'd u truly...jst get away frm him nd find a beautiful lyf waiting ahead...al d best

Crap he does not really love you. If he did he would not have a need to lie to you. And the **** thing is much the same as having a affair on you. Bail!

Por* thing.

If you're asking if it's too much already, it's too much already.