New Story - New Life - New HopeIt has been 5 months since I moved out of my sexless marriage and on with my life. There has been some difficulty. Although my daughter is an adult now and living on her own in another town, she is still having some difficulty adjusting. She is feeling divided loyalty, which is understandable. She also resents that fact that her mother found comfort and companionship with another man so soon. I have been labeled an adulteress by my ex’s family however, I was never good enough for them so that is their problem. I do not have to see them or interact with them. What she fails to understand is that I was very much alone for many years before I found the courage to pick myself up learn to live and love again. Many of you who live in this sexless marriage prison are sacrificing yourselves. Don’t. You deserve to be happy and your spouse cannot truly be happy either unless they choose to be blind to your pain. That means they are being selfish and you may be enabling that behaviour by trying to stay true your vows.
I have had some difficulties but nothing I couldn’t handle thanks to the overwhelming support I received from the most wonderful man I have ever met, my siblings and their families, friends, co-workers and old neighbours from where I grew up. I was honestly surprised and oddly humbled by the number of supporters I have found.
There are still financial and legal matters that need to be settled. I decided that I would have minimal contact with my ex and other than a couple of brief emails I have directed all communications through my solicitor. After all that is what I pay for. Thanks to my parents. Even though they have passed on, they left me enough resources that when added to my modest earnings makes enough to see me through until a settlement can be negotiated.
Since there is no custody issue and also no debt I thought settlement should be fairly simple – just a division of assets. But even this takes time so I strongly advise anyone formulating an exit strategy to give careful consideration to all financial matters. Know your rights and obligations and if you have not done so –take immediate control of spending and any debt. I am more fortunate than most but I allowed for a minimum of one year to settle finances.
My Ex….. Supposedly he has been devastated. My daughter told me and I quote, “You really *****-slapped him. He is a different person now. “ My response to that is that after 28 years married, 25 of which were sexless – living in separate bedrooms, that is not my concern now. I gave it a better than honest try and hung in there longer than most would have. I have no regrets.
Moving on now with hope for the future, I found a love who shows more affection with a touch of his hand than I have felt in years and I am blessed. I have a partner, a companion and a friend who wants to share the rest of his life with me and I want to be with him. I am happy, very happy. Simple little things like grocery shopping and laundry are fun when you are with someone you love and who loves you
cairinkimberley 51-55, F 21 Responses 17 Nov 6, 2012