Witness To A Sexless Marriage

I was involved with a man whose (now ex wife) withheld sex from him on a regular basis for the most part of their 28 year "marriage". She even refused to kiss him 5 years into their union. Of course he tried to ask her to go to counselling repeatedly, which she could not seem to put her heart into, let alone her body or mind. This man and I met seemingly randomly many years ago, and I soon became a person who could provide him with the love, intimacy and physical validation he so detrimentally lacked.
This man adores his two daughters, and stayed in the "marriage" because of them. He suffered a nervous breakdown 12 years ago due to the lack of emotional and physical support in his former civil union. We parted ways, and he realised he had to divorce his former spouse in order to gain some sanity and control over his life. I was no longer a part of his life at this point.
I am now married to this wonderful, sensitive, deeply passionate man, and I count my blessings every day. It was an extremely painful journey for all of us, including his ex-wife. I even encouraged him in the last few years of his former civil union to seek one last attempt at reconciliation with her, because I knew for his own peace of soul he had to try everything before giving up. But the truth remains the truth, and they had not embarked upon their matrimonial commitment with real love and honesty, resulting in an eventual annulment in the Catholic Church as well.
My heart goes out to every one of you, because I witnessed first hand the devastation living in a sexless marriage can cause. Thankfully, the resolution was amicable for everyone, but not without much soul-searching and the pain of growth and change.

For anyone here who feels that their marriage is truly based on mutual love and respect (and this includes the responsibility of providing the real intimacy that bonds a sacred union together), I urge you to try this amazing program that runs internationally, with wonderful results:
Wayfairer Wayfairer
3 Responses Nov 7, 2012

Some of these responses are so mean spirited and quick to judge. I think what this lady did for this man was an act of mercy. It's on his soul regarding the infidelity. Was his ex-wife not just as guilty of infidelity for denying him her love for so long? At what point has he fulfilled his obligation to deny himself love and intimacy in the face of her neglect? Wayfairer, I think your story is both tragic and beautiful.

Not trying to be judgemental but would have been a perfect story if only they were atleast separated before you two started seeing.

Well good for you both!