"In your opinion, what are some things that define healthy relationships?"
I responded to a post titled "Another Ad" written NWFlman. What I was trying to get across with my comments was the following:
I wanted the commenters to be aware of the defeated attitude they were displaying. That they were giving up, before the fight even started. They were depriving themselves, before they even tried.
I was encouraging them to make this video. Make a video, that they would like to have received. They don't have to give the video to anyone, but at least have the fun of creating one. I was trying to get a little spice back in their life. I was trying to get the fight back into their heart.
For a lot of various reasons, people are stuck in a dead marriage but in order to eventually leave; all of you need to get your attitude in shape. When your in such a depressing long term situation, the longer your there, the farther down the hole you slip. I am trying to give you ways of crawling out of there.
I am suggesting little ways of getting you to feel sexy. I am suggesting little ways to get the twinkle back in your eye and heart. Sex is all about attitude. It is a sort of swagger. What I see when I read the comments to 'Another Ad', is someone walking away with their head down after yet again another lost battle. I am trying to get you to walk tall, dressed fit to kill, and be an eye opener. I am trying to get the person that is inside you to be visible. You have given up way more that you realize .Look in the mirror, and really look this time, and you will see what I am saying.
There is no sexual intimacy in your life, but that does not mean you're not a sexual person. And so you need to get back to where you were, when you behaved with confidence, about who you were what you were about. Initially, it will be a sort of pretend attitude, because you have to relearn body language. But you need to get your confidence back, your self assurance back. Regaining confidence in your self, will allow you to at least deal with your present situation with a stronger presence. You're not stuck being the 90 pound weakling fighting someone twice your size. It evens out the playing field. It will allow you to confront your marriage with a stronger attitude, and confidence, and that is.....HUGE !!
.All of these suggestions that I am offering are what I used to get out of my dead marriage. They are what I used to start to believe in my self, and get to the point of really seeing where I was, and getting my self sorted out, and having the strength to take action. The starting point, was me, seeing me as I really was. I was looking at my behavior and my attitude, my body language, and then doing something about it, to present me the way I really should be. I needed to be a person walking tall, head up, looking people in the eye.