Third Email From My Ex He Is Filing..

So, I just recieved a third email from my ex and the title says he has filed a missing person report on me. (I have not opened this email or the other two, as I'm waiting for some prof advice.)

Has anyone ever had a missing person report filed on them before, if so, is there anything on my end that I can do? I know him to well and I know he's not bluffing about this.

My anxiety is killing me, I want to smoke a ciggy so bad just so I can calm down.
KaeCo KaeCo
11 Responses Nov 8, 2012

If he does not leave you alone, file a request for a Restraining Order. It is not difficult to do and you don't need an attorney to do it. Do talk to the police though about the domestic violence. If you have any photos to show it, give it to them

Thank you TinyMouse.

I happen to be a criminal defense attorney. Missing person reports are not a criminal complaint. There is nothing criminal about going where you want and not talking to friends or family. If you left children unattended or abandoned, that would be a separate issue, but I'm assuming that is not the case here. If the police contact you and you tell them you are not "missing" but just wish nothing to do with that person, they will not reveal your new whereabouts, and they will close their case.

Thank you so much for that information. I don't have any kids, and we are not married and in my mind, I'm not bound to him in any way. I have a friend and she told me that my ex could get in trouble for filing the missing persons, if I'm not really missing, ( I didn't think to ask at the time ) I don't how that works, and I'm curious what your knowledge is on this.

Most jurisdictions have an offense of falsely reporting an incident. If he knew you were not missing but merely left him, it may fit the elements of that offense in your jurisdiction. Each state is different. If he continues to bother you, an order of protection may be needed. Good luck.

Thank you for answering my question.

Crap dont let his games have an effect on you any longer. Just know another is coming your way soon. I got tired of my ex wife's crap so every little thing that she came up with i just simply told her to have her attorney contact mine. She never sid and i angered her every time. You free. Feel that instead.

Thank you.

Hi Kae, I work in a field that puts me in contact with the da's office for family violence often. In fact I'll be breaking bread and enjoying wine at one of their homes this weekend. Pm me your jurisdiction if you feel comfortable and I will see what she knows about your area. I've helped two women I met here at ILIASM who happened to live in my state get into a shelter and away. I'll help if I can and if you desire help.<br />
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But... Tell the police what's going on. They know how dv works and they do not wish to be used as a way to continue abuse. They will close the missing person's report as soon as they hear from you. You do not have to have him know anything. Same thing for any social services you apply for. Tell them you are leaving a dv situation and they will redact your location from any documents that could be used to track you. You will be ok. It's great that you left. The system knows how abusive spouses can be and will not help them track down their victim if they know you are one.

Thank you for your help and advice.

Of course he knows you have left him! But he cannot STAND the thought that he can no longer control you - hence the missing persos report. Contact police or police hotline. Let them know the circumstances of your absence. And get a restraining order if need be . . ..

You are so right! I kept thinking, I made it clear by leaving behind a symbol of our relationship. Thank you, I needed that. Will do.

oh wow. yes, maybe call a resourse for women in battered situations. they might help.

I will be getting on it my friend is helping me with it. Thank you!


You may want to call the police dept and let them know you're OK and explain you don't want your ex to find you. You don't want to take up police time looking for you when they could be handling true emergencies. Good luck.

I think this is a great idea.

I'll be honest, I don't think much will come of a missing person's report. Since you're an adult, they'll probably keep it on file, but not actually do anything about it anyway.

I thought about this too. We'll see what happens.

The hotline is fine. Call the police and let them know you have left him and that you don't want him to know your whereabouts.

He does know you've left right - not that you've just gone missing??

Definitely call the hotline, they may have experience of this. Just because he's filed a missing person's report doesn't mean he has to be informed about WHERE you are. Adults DO have a right to just go off. You haven't done anything wrong.

Where my computer was, I left my engagement ring and a gifted necklace he gave me. He has an above average IQ. He knows what this means.

Is it quite possible that he's so wilfully blind to how he's treated you that he's actually a bit mystified? These people have an amazing tendency to ignore and/or twist the truth.

But this same bizarre view of the universe may have him thinking that reporting you missing gives him the right to know your location.

You might be right. What you said, certainly would fit my ex. Your good!

Have you gotten away permanently?

It is my understanding that if you contact the police department and explain the situation, there are special circumstances depending on your jurisdiction, whether they even tell him anything or just call off the search.

Definitely you are wise to wait for prof instructions. Do you know any meditative breathing exercises? That may help more than cigs, IMHO. Or even talking with someone you trust.

You have every right to be anxious. I am hoping though that this story means you have gotten clean away and can start again now.

Best of luck, we are all thinking of you and rooting for you.

The breathing exercises weren't helping, I did try them, I need to be calm so I can focus, I went ahead and bought cigs.

I have gotten away clean. I was very careful and left no trail. He would have to be God himself to find me.

And Thank you !!

As bad as cigarettes are - they aren't likely to hurt you as fast as he will. You can quit later.

Thank goodness you are away from him. Your situation was extremely scary. I wish you luck. Get yourself in order, and then you can concentrate more on your health.

HA ha! So true!

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