Sexless Marriage

We laydown to sleep, I fear tonight will turn out to be the same as every night.. I put my hand on your chest then slowly move my hand down until I touch your balls, you say " don't touch I am sweating right now" so I grab your **** and you say " I am sleepy right now" you turn to the side and you have your back facing me..
You don't know how much I am hurting right now.. I am screaming from the inside, I am horny! I want to feel wanted! .. my fear came true again..
I turn to the other side and cry myself to sleep thinking tomorrow will be ok..
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36 Responses Nov 9, 2012

cyber hugs. I soooooo know how you feel.

This was my life for so many years! It's better, but he still tells me no more than yes. Recently we went a month of sex very very regularly. I was in heaven! Then back to the Nos. he just told me that that was all about pleasing me not him. So, do I take that as he doesn't really want me after all? He didn't really enjoy pleasing me? He just wanted me to shut up? I am afraid to ask again....just like I was for all of those years. What do we do in this situation?

Oh I have! Have told him I am willing to do anything he wants!! Well not nailing my breasts to a board (recently saw a pic of that).

I agree. I had been getting chores and punishment from him too. But hes not consistant with that either. Taken in hand marriage. He's been "working on a contract"'for a few months now. Ugh

i feel the same way

Sorry, I reread my response, and I think I kind of made it sound like I thought it was your fault. I did not mean that at all, I'm sorry if it sounded like that.

It may not be a simple reason. Your husband sounds like me. For years I would tell my wife the same exact things. Then while I heard her crying softly, I woul wonder why I just did that. What kind of ******* says no to his wife. We would occasionally have sex, but more often than not, I would turn her down. Then I started remembering being sexually abused when I was a child, and so many things became clear to me. Sorry this became very long, but I just wanted to say, there may be so many reason why he says no, and not one of them may have anything to do with you. It isn't your fault, I'm sure of it.

if u had done that to me ..i would have said..suck it my horny ***** and suck that big hard **** make me *** in ur mouth

try a different time of day
or a different approach
men arent a machine you can just flip a switch to turn on

I think you will find most men are like turning in a switch, or is that just me

Crikey 510,
If you done that to me, you would be crying........ with pleasure.

Damn...sounds exactly like my nightly scenario...just the roles are reversed.

Yeah that's what happened with me and my wife, so i sleep in the spare room now

Damn........where the hell did I go wrong ?

aawwww :( sweety I'm sorry. In the future, if we do meet, I will hold you ok? :)

I am constantly amazed that there are guys like this. I used to think it was always the other way around.

That's sad you don't get the attention you deserve. Perhaps surprising him with a nice lingerie and telling him you need his attention will help him recognize you deserve always his attention. I hope you get all the attention you need. I know I'd LOVE to play with your wonderful breasts in every free minute, hopefully making you ****** of breast play alone. Perhaps you'd even like to nurse me of your breasts, I'd SO LOVE to get breastfed again as an adult and that sure will bond two persons so strong and it will sure also lead to sex quite often. Perhaps your partner would like that too, this might be an option.

Oh dear! The "scented candles" approach NEVER works in a truly sexless marriage. Worth a try if the marriage is a bit jaded . . . but don't expect miracles.

You poor lady! huperziaselago is right in everything he said. Wish I could help: snap my fingers and he'd come to his senses (or be the one you shine on as an alternative).

Women are beautiful, most of their husbands forget this after a while. They... Us must be reminded: the beauty of a lady is always there, but needs nursing to come out and shine. Sometimes it is flickering in a little smile; sometimes it is burning in a lace lingerie. Either way it can be brighter than the sun itself! He have to be careful who she would shine on!

Sorry darling, every women needs to feel wanted. And I am sure you more then deserve it.

o.o; whoa fiesty little girl

I am so sorry about this. Its a bad situation.

You're not alone, sweetie. There's a lot of us who experience the same thing, me included.

That sucks. You don't deserve that. No one does.

damn how that happen?if im yor neighbor i guess i will snatched you everytime your free and feel you deep with mine hhhmmm

you should look into outsourcing your physical needs, there are plenty of guys willing to pay you all the attention you desire and need. Just a thought

Honey I DO MYSELF and I'll do it beside him **** crying. **** yourself get you a ***** nipples suckers and any other toy you want. Watch **** ya self I be damn if i'm waiting on a live ****. **** it DO you

It's admirable that you withstand so much suffering for your son. My heart goes out to you my friend...

i feel horny every day and ther elike what ever

this is sad

I understand, it's the rejection, and all that goes with it. Have you had what on ILIASM is referred to as 'the talk' yet with him, if not, sounds like he and you need it.

You should no longer attepmt to get anything started and he will soon wonder if something is going on!! And if you are getting it elsewhere.

In my case, my wife didn't even notice that I stopped all attempts - even after three years! There will be no "wondering" - I submit that refusers just don't think about lovemaking. Or if they do, they think about how to avoid it.

OMG I am so sorry, i hope things get better for you, either with him or start all over with someone new.

I am so sorry, I can also relate to what you feeling. Ive been down here and its really hard to let go or to accept that it has come to that. Maybe you should consider seeing a Therapist, Im sure there are sex therapist cause if you do not seek help you will end up being divorce for the reason you may kick yourself for. Also note that you can not stay in a sexless marriage as eventually it does wear you down.

I understand what you mean that is why I suggest you sek the necessary help swty. Take it easy and do not forget to smile while you at it

i know what it feels ... stabs like a knife ...same situation i am in!

did you had to go thru that ,, thru a sex therapist, i will think there is other way

I'm sorry. I can really relate.

Wow! I didn't think men were capable of resisting, it's sad, I didn't know it worked both ways, it must be heaven for those partners are equal with desire and response.

Well, my wife seems to have lost interest, so for me it's one day at a time. She is a good wife, she takes care of the kids and me. She's a stay at home mom and she has time, it's weird, she's into healthy and spiritual stuff but she's just not interested in sex anymore. She tells me she's fat, she stinks, whatever. If I tell she's beutiful or sexy she takes it as an insult, it's just weird. We have four years before our youngest is of age and on her own. I'll probably take day by day and then explore my options, it might be time to pack up and leave this life, start over somewhere else.

How can she say she is "spiritual" and not want to be sexual with you? Ist Corinthians 7 trumps that. If you mean "spiritual" as in Christian!

I don't even try to touch any more.

awww- I am in the same situation and so sorry for your pain

Story of my nights for the last 30 years. I cry with you.

i know what its like to. take care of u