Spent The Day With My FriendI spent the day with my friend, and during our time (whether it be me watching her do her routine or us talking,) I would have these flashback thoughts, where I would find myself comparing moments with her and me to moments with my ex and me.
And It really made feel certain that I am okay.
I’m the kind of person that likes to be prepared. So I have been thinking of many scenarios of what if. Now just to be real, I thought one of these scenarios of, what if my ex took himself to counseling and got all this help and was following every protocol to a “T.” And let’s just say he sounded like a new man. Now, if you asked would I give him a chance. The answer is easy, NO.
My reason, is simple, how can I go back and look at him again and not be reminded of what I went through, and what us represented then. I would not be okay and my heart would never be completely open to him, and that alone, is not fair to anyone.
On the counseling bit: If my ex did take counseling I would be very surprise, this is why.
In one of our "breaking ups" ( which means he asks me to prove to him that I want to "fix me," because I was causing all the problems)
This was the last time I mentioned to him that I wanted counseling (every time before was a no) He said what gave you that idea? I said they are professional, and this is what they specialize in. He then flipped out and banged his fist on the desk and said, I’m your f****** counselor, you don’t want to listen to me! You treat me like pure garbage, He then said, fine! go to a counslor and screw around on him and mess up his life, like you have mine, he then wnet on to victimizing himself further by saying, I treat him like trash, I have no respect for him, and I treat him like S***.