I Live In a Sexless Marriage

I Am Ready!

By: Gigimus

Written on November 11th, 2012

Had a few more knocks upside the head (I hate that saying, but it fits)...a lot of perspective (went to visit my best friend and her husband..saw how it SHOULD be--my jaw dropped)...more true colors shown by him (he's making this easier)....AND (lest you think I am brave and stalwart)...have had an old friend drift back into my life...and I am ready to do my research on attorneys, my rights, precautions, getting my ducks in a row, etc...I want to be prepared with every angle before I spill the beans and have the talk. I just might have a chance at happiness if I do this NOW.

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By: Gigimus

Age: 46-50 , Female

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30 responses

flodials

Good for you. I wish I knew what I was doing when I started to leave. You have a clear mind and the strength to move on. Keep that going and you will make it through it and be better off on the other side. Cheers and here for you support

Nov 12, 2012
2 likes
idlewatcher

The only "true color" you should be seeing is the welt on your face. You need to leave and there are tons of people here supporting you :)

Nov 12, 2012
2 likes
Fienchanny

You can do it! We're here for you!

Nov 11, 2012
1 like
- Gigimus
  Aww, thank you all!
  
  Nov 12, 2012
  1 like
GibbySan

"Let me just add that I am sick and tired of his picky palate too. I cook some wonderful stuff and he won't even taste it...makes a stupid ugly face and goes "ewww" like a five year old. Disgusts me."
Isn't your refuser a narcissist?
My father was a narcissist and he was totally fussy about food.
I don't remember my (paternal) grandfather, but apparently the one time he visited he "complimented" my mother on something she had made by telling her it was "well baked". My mom was an excellent cook, too!

Nov 11, 2012
1 like
Eyessogreen313

Way to go. You are much braver than myself. I am still lingering drowning in the background.

Nov 11, 2012
1 like
redwaterlady

Woo hoo!

Nov 11, 2012
1 like
lonelymom2

Blessings on all you do!

Nov 11, 2012
1 like
WhiteSoxGal

it can be a glaring contrast when u visit the home of a happy, successful couple (even if only in ur eyes). nothing like highlighting the weaknesses of ur own relationship to make u feel bad. but if this was what u needed to jump start being proactive, then good for u, sister! having been divorced once before by a controlling man who held all the cards, i learned something valuable. frustrated and scared without a penny to my name to retain a good lawyer, i went to my local library and took out a book. it had some tricks and tips to obtaining a fair divorce on little resources. the author advised that whoever walked into the courtroom with more info usually won or succeeded in getting what they wanted. i did my homework, collected my info and put it together in an easy to decipher format. much to my ex's dismay i won almost everything i was asking for and he had to shell out an add'l $600 that i was entitled to legally. wish you the best...

Nov 11, 2012
4 likes
- Gigimus
  Nice job!!! :) And thank you!!!!! :) I am no saint...but...I have carried the load financially....have taken care of all bills, banking, pets...bought the house AND been denied sex.....I have my own issues (which are irrelevant here), but think I have a pretty good case.
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- suenit
  good luck!!! and I hope you find your rainbow:)
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
Gazell

Boy can i relate. action feels so much better to me than waiting and hoping and trying. best wishes and turns out we are not alone.

Nov 11, 2012
2 likes
bazzar

Get all the information together that you possibly can, then make an INFORMED choice.
Tread your own path.

Nov 11, 2012
3 likes
- Gigimus
  Let me just add that I am sick and tired of his picky palate too. I cook some wonderful stuff and he won't even taste it...makes a stupid ugly face and goes "ewww" like a five year old. Disgusts me.
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- Gigimus
  I love going to a farmer's market and picking up interesting vegetables and then finding something to do with them! My latest kick is root vegetables. Made some tonight--sweet potato, turnip, rutabaga, potatoes, beet...cooked down in salt water, drained; then lightly mashed with butter, sea salt and white pepper and a pinch of nutmeg. Then stir in sour cream. MMM!!! A true tummy pleaser and quite healthy. He turned his nose up. Would rather have sausage and dead food--mac and cheese or something.
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- loneone6969
  That's insane, how can one refuse such a lovely, healthy meal offered for him!!!!
  Would love to have had that. Carry on and don't feel any regrets, you go girl :))))
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- Gigimus
  thanks!!! all of you!! Yes, it is rejection in another way....oh well...more healthy nourishing food for me! Or the right man!!!
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- Gigimus
  yes, a red flag, IMO, ifoundme....
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- loneone6969
  The right man is and/or can be a healthy nourishing too :)
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- Gigimus
  absolutely. Soul nourishment is what I lack so badly. Never realize how much you're missing until: you see how it should be (perspective), get a massage or pedicure (things you should be feeling but never do), or meet someone that throws you for a loop (affair)...enough of these things hit you an wake you up...you finally get the motivation to do something.
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- loneone6969
  I feel your pain, I have the similar feelings and experiences, not having sex for several months is painful.
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- Gigimus
  months, years...yep...
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- loneone6969
  We share the same pain :(( (I need to get laid so bad)
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- Gigimus
  Yep, laid by someone who makes the hair on your arm stand up...laid by someone who when you make eye contact, your pupils get bigger...laid by someone whom it is just ecstasy to be chest to chest with...OMG...I need that, bad....again...
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- Gigimus
  someone you miss the second they leave the room...someone you could be perfectly content to just lie there with..all right with the world.........yeah...I remember that..and the last time I felt that it was definitely NOT with the H......... :(
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- Gigimus
  .......not really....it's been years...........................
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- PocoSostenuto7
  Ha, so true. I stared my husband in the eyes just last week and said almost those exact words followed by "and I remember the last time it happened (date)". The date a named was 6 months before I met my husband. You should have seen the look on his face. It was priceless.
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- loneone6969
  You said that in great way Gigi. Your description of it is accurate and makes me even want it more. I really wish we were together :(
  
  Nov 11, 2012
  1 like
- Gigimus
  Poca.....AWESOME!!!! Score!
  
  Nov 12, 2012
  1 like
- PocoSostenuto7
  Oh hell yes. I believe it's called "counting coup". Just the beginning.
  
  Nov 12, 2012
  1 like
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