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While I understand that bitching to strangers on the internet about your problem may be a fantastic form of release, I feel like this sort of problem should be talked though with the partner. Having a relationship based entirely on sexual interactions is incredibly shallow.

Try and imagine yourself experiencing a lack of sexual desire yourself and have someone constantly dissapointed in you for it.
teddybearshark teddybearshark
17 Responses Nov 11, 2012

Have you ever been married or in a "serious" relationship?

A "sockpuppet?" LOLOLOL....what will they think of next? Hmmmm...maybe I shouldn't ask that question. Anyway, thanks for clarifying it.

For a second I thought the term referred to some dictator or another.

You haven't really read the stories, have you? They're not here because they're having a minor tiff with their spouse and the spouse slept on the couch last night.... They're here because they have been denied any sexual contact at all with their spouse for YEARS. I think it's incredibly shallow to assume that the sex is all they care about.

Come back here after 20 years of SM...

Yes, you are correct. It is an incredible release for all of us here. We are going thru some of the toughest decisions of our lives. And yes, we should be talking about this to our spouses and this site and these incredible people give the rest of us support, advice and courage to hopefully do that. That is a big reason why we are all here. We at some point felt so alone and messed up inside thinking that it was all our fault and that something was very wrong with us, that we ended up here. But here's the real twist. Our spouses might not want to talk about it to us. Most of us here have a lot of time and emotion invested in our relationships, too much to just casually toss in the towel. So most of us teeter for a while on that incredibly difficult decision of "do I stay or do I leave, and is it the right thing to do for me?". It really can be the most gut wrenching, heart breaking thing to go thru. All of these people are here to help us feel not so alone and have just a little hope that one day it will be better, what ever the decision we make.

I don't understand where your rant is coming from ? Are you in a sexless marriage if not why are you here?

In case you hadn't realised - we are the people who sympathise for people like you. That's why we're here. We're what happens after 20 years of sympathising for people like you.

What one who lives in a lush forest or tropical jungle experiences and perceives is very different from that of one who lives in a desert with secret oases and even more removed from that of one who lives in a desert with nothing but a mirage of water to crawl after.

The first person hardly has to even wonder, except out of idle curiosity perhaps, where the water comes from because the proof of its bountiful presence are all around (trees, plants, fruit and one does not want for anything).

The second person is ever hoping to stumble into an oasis and when he or she does, there is respite and hope returns that maybe this time, the water will not dry up and maybe, other things will grow from it.

The third has only the last gasp of hope left to keep chasing after an illusion, stumbling, praying to return to a place of bounty or even striving to get to a place of plenty that they had heard of.

To young to get it!

Of course when i was your age i thought i knew everything

Was wrong and so are you KID!

If you are describing your own feelings, please do yourself and any potential long-term partners a big favor and tell them honestly how you feel about sex and marriage. That will allow them, if they are so shallow as to want sex, to accelerate away & both of you not to waste any time.

I know callow youth is not into taking advice from those with more experience, again, if you want to avoid serious problems in your future, it will help you to work on your empathy skills. Your advice is risible to those with experience, I take it you want to be taken seriously.

How about if you do not marry a person with a sex drive and spare that person the disappointment of not being able to have sex. Or maybe because sex with you is so disappointing . . . . .

You just enjoy pouring salt in wounds? There's probably a group on here for ******** like you. I've been trying to not have sexual desire for two years! And talk to our partners? Imagine that! Why didn't I think of that! You're a moron. Go away.

Try not having sexual desire???? What a concept! Now why didn't any of us think of it? We have seen da light!

hey i was that person, i have a low libido. its more than sex, its about intimacy, closeness and having a connection. i have gone out of my way to be sympathetic and empathetic. im not whining about his crappy lovemaking skills, im looking for support, ideas and nonjudgmental advice to a mutually shared problem. shame on u for calling people out who are simply looking for help.

hmmmm...ok, I tried to imagine myself with a lack of sexual desire and...I CAN'T DO IT! nope, not me..I'm normal.

Well talk it over with someone who cares babe.

Such wisdom and depth of thought from one so young . . . Such acute and insightful interpretation of emotional needs . . . Such compassion and self-awareness. . . .
If only the thick, insensitive, selfish, unkind, SHALLOW people on this forum could be blessed with your attributes . . . .

While I understand that commenting in forums where you know **** all about the subject can make you feel like you are adding a fresh new perspective, it often times simply marks you as an idiot.

I believe that the anorexics group is just bursting with anticipation for someone to go over there and advise them to "just eat".

Off you go, your work here is done.

Or the group for parents who lose a child and say "Just have another one" . . .