The Nut CracksI've pushed my wife hard. I want an authentic relationship. I've demanded emotional intimacy. I think she is now starting to open up how wounded she is. Many of us are wounded. I was traumatized at a young age - still not totally dealt with. My wife is clearly traumatized but it has needed for us to be on the brink of breakup for her to start to realize her suffering and pain that I feel I can see so clearly.
It is painful that we have to be at this point. I've started a new job and I'm going to see a psychiatrist for medication to ensure I can survive without a breakdown. Not what I'd choose.
But it may have needed this much stress to crack the nut that is my wife. The thing is I quite like her. I'm quite fond of her and I'd really like this to work out. The cards are on the table. It may not be a quick recovery and she expressed fear that as she reveals her true self for the first time in her life that I may not choose to be with her. I expressed that whether or not I still chose her either way it was my intention to do what I could so she (and I) would thrive in life. I want her to leave this marriage a much stronger more fulfilled person. Even more than that I want to enjoy her being the thing I think I saw (and hell if it does work out it will have been the craziest journey I would not recommend to anyone) and growing old together. That I think would be profound fun.
I'm at the stage of archetypally growing to be a king. I hope she will be my queen. (If not all potential candidates pls message me directly!!!!! )
DangerCat 41-45, M 6 Responses 0 Nov 13, 2012