From: Kaeco, Checking In.

I don’t have access to the internet where I’m living so, I won’t be able to check in everyday as I would like to. Right now, I’m busy trying to get independent, and finding my own routine as I was always working around my ex’s schedule.

So it only had been a few days that I left. And in the morning my sister from out of state gives me a call to say, guess who was just at my front door? Well it was him asking for me.

She told him, I don’t know where she is, and he asked her about me and she said, hey, “I don’t know anything.” He tells my sister that I told him to never talk to her. (Not true, he never wanted to get to know her. If I tried talking about her, he would get irritated or had nothing nice to say.)

She cut the conversation short and said sorry and closed the door. Well he rings the doorbell and knocks on the window continuously until my sis’s fiancé finally goes next and says, you need to go home. My ex says to him, I have nowhere to go. (That’s a bit dramatic, for having a PAID OFF house!) What do I do? The fiancé says, just go home and wait for her to come back.

I find it ironic he drove all the way to her house out of state on his day off. I could not even get him to go on a walk with me. And even when I succeeded, (very rare) it was like pulling teeth every time.

I still don’t check my emails. But I was looking at my social media site and he mentioned, he has hired an investigator to find me, I find this hard to believe. Does he really not think, that whoever comes for me, Or what ever happens, that I will expose what happened.

He is VERY concerned about public image, and especially with him being an Narcissist and all, I find it hard to believe he has done so.

I miss you guys, I hope you all are doing great where ever you are! Be well!
KaeCo KaeCo
9 Responses Nov 14, 2012

"The Interstate Stalking Act, signed into law by President Clinton in 1996, makes it a crime for any person to travel across state lines with the intent to injure or harass another person and, in the course thereof, places that person or a member of that person's family in a reasonable fear of death or serious bodily injury. See 18 U.S.C. 2261A. "

He traveled across state lines to harass you.
Therefore he's broken Federal law...although I don't know if you can get that to stick.
Abusers are MOST likely to kill the abused spouse when the spouse tries to leave.
Restraining order, NOW!

If you can, download a screen capture of him announcing he hired a PI.
Also, have your sister make a statement about what happened in hardcopy.
This guy is looking like a serious threat.
If you are not at a secure Domestic Violence shelter, I urge you to get to NEED a secure location.

Maybe I sound paranoid...would you rather be paranoid or dead? I'd take paranoia as the better choice.

I suspect that there are going to be further drama's to play out here.
Every little development I would be reporting to the plods, and documenting. And I'd have the plods on speed dial too.

The bloke is obviously a ****, but that doesn't mean he ain't rat cunning. Don't underestimate his resourcefulness.

Tread your own path.

Can you go on your own FaceBook page and tell the world that you are FINE and that you have left your husband, even though he does not seem to understand this? That way, if he approaches anyone, he will be made to look extremely foolish . . .

But DO get police advice first. . . .

Stay safe! I second the "so glad you got away" feeling. Any chance you can charge him with physical abuse and have him locked away, or at least put out a restraining order?

so glad you're staying away, and pleased by your sister's response. Stay safe!

I think he's absolutely delusional. Although he's been abusive, I reckon he has little to NO understanding that he has been. Emotionally abusive and controlling - of course, not! (in his mind). And even if he admitted that you think he might have been controlling it was just because he loved you so much. Beating you around the legs, you clearly pushed him to it. (in his mind!) So I bet you anything he's not the least bit worried about what you'd say because in his mind he's done nothing wrong..or maybe just a little bit wrong, but people would understand why you pushed him so far... (in his mind).

I say this because my husband is emotionally abusive and he complains about his mother's treatment of him - he told me this weekend that [her] "constant criticism is absolutely soul crushing" and I said "I know" and he just didn't get it. This was after a day that he'd been particularly brutal, including telling me that I told me that once a day was enough to tell my son that I love him as the first words he spoke to me that morning.

Lay low for sure!

I'm keeping the eyes in the back of my head open if you know what I mean, thanx!

I just read your story.
He sounds dangerous but...

I STILL love the fact that he's suffering.


To be continued.......