When darknes creeps outside
Coldness smothers me inside
Your voice is loud ,making my heart beat faster
The tunel of pain elopes my brain
I know this place called fear
That control you have of bringing it near.
Right up close in my face!
That heat, that anger.
Your hateful words ringing in my ears.

Your anger felt upon my skin, as you feel the need to make me suffer your pain.
To release it deep from your veins.
Exploding in anger from kicks to my curled up body laying on the floor, to your hands around my neck pushing out the breath you want to own.
You make sure I feel your pain.
Unleasing it on my flesh and soul, as if your anger wants to swallow me whole.
I close my eyes , open a door and escape into the darkness feeling no more.
deedee62 deedee62
46-50, F
4 Responses Nov 14, 2012

I am a older married man and I too live a sexless marriage. we have been married for almost 21 years and for the first 5 to 7 years we had sex all the time. But I was molested by an older boy when I was 8y/o and he kept having gay sex with me until I reached puberty at which time I enjoyed it very much. It was at that time that he introduced me to his Bisexual parents who ran a Bi swingers group which I was part of. I told my wife this 18 years after we were married and she said it wasn't my fault and she told m And since e I needed to talk to a therapist. The therapist is a woman and she said the same thing my wife did but told me that I will always be Bisexual and to do what I am comfortable doing. I tried to get my wife to accept my old lifestyle but she won't and she won't let me do what ***'s naturally for me. But all of this is not why we have a sexless marriage. my wife had a total hystorectomy 5 years ago and the OGYN didn't do a nerve sparing surgery so her nipples aren't linked with her ***** so she can't have an ******. And since I am a very oral person I love to go down on her. My wife said it feels great but that's all and that was a long time ago. I don't want to leave her because i Love her very much, I just wish she had a open mind and saw what kind of hell I was in. I told her thaat I won't love her any less, in fact I will love her more and she can either watch or participate in a bi relationship. We used to watch **** when we first got married but she said she didn't like to watch straight or lesbian **** because it was too fake so I went out and bought some gay **** and she loved it because it seemed very real. And at the time she said she would love to see me with another man doing everything that gay men do, but she backed out after I set it up with a bi man I new. She said she didn't want to share me with anyone especially a woman. And I told her I have no desire to have sex with any other woman than her but I crave the feeling of sucking another man off and having him take me up the butt.

"Your anger felt on my skin", I've always felt like the anger is palpable, it envelops like a fog in the dark blinds me from my feet to my hair, surrounding me with malice.

I use to not get angry often . But the more I look back on things that happened in my life .. I can say I feel it more often than I would like.

If you have a half decent voice, maybe you and WarriorPoett could knock together a duet of some sort, maybe in the style of Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton.

Excuse me? Who is WarriorPoett?

Another member. Look him up on the search function. (the box near the top of the page)

Oh, Good God, honey. This is one of the most chilling poems I read in a long time. Does this poem truly describes your life, or is it just fantasy? Sweetie, if it is true life, then please seek shelter away from him. Your life and your sanity are at stake, dear.

I lived that life for four years , but in many ways it still causes problems in my life.
In some sense I am abused in other ways in my marriage , not physical though.

If you would like to talk about it, honey, send me an add request and we can talk about it via EP email for privacy. Oh, Sweetie, you seem to be in pain. Talk to me, dear.