And Another Therapist Says..Thought I’d share some results from this week’s session. The subject was Duty Sex.
The Psychologist lady said “Let’s just assume that sex is not pleasurable for your wife and initiation on your terms is clearly very difficult for her. If so, when she has sex she is giving you a gift – something she does out of her love for you. Rather, you take it as an insult, as a negative. Can you find a way to love it for the gift it is?”
Now to say no to that would mean I am letting my sense of entitlement to a sexual wife take precedence over her love for me. Which I think is wrong. But I said no anyway. Such is the desire for a woman who will slap my arse and order me to bed on her own.
But it is true thinking about it this way – as I have but it helped to hear it from her, does soften things a bit. If I am going to stay married I have to initiate and accept her rather lame version of initiation as a good thing. And if I cannot get my head in this “gift” game – there is really no hope.
So I know it is a crummy proposition but I am going to give it a try – will make our time together better if nothing else.