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Tried To Talk To Him...

... And he got all defensive and nasty. There was a show on TV about our exact same situation. I was watching him as he looked at the screen and nothing. Not even a bat of his eyelashes. I tried to have a grown-up conversation about it- I really did try! But he told me I was "attacking him" and "maybe THAT'S why he never wants to have sex." All lies. I wasn't attacking him. I was telling him how this whole situation makes me feel. He just doesn't want to hear it... So now, I will go to bed with a heavy heart - knowing that this so-called relationship cannot be fixed. Ever...
Shipsonariver Shipsonariver 36-40, F 7 Responses Nov 17, 2012

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i feel for you...it is very hurtful shen they wont talk to you...it is impossible to fix a problem when you dont truly understand the problem...bless your heart

sounds like my many talks over the years, once I explainded my ex had more sex with me and she said to call her up if it was that important. I should have pretended to make the call that night.

Check out my story "The Cycle Continues" sounds just like us. Recently we have actually talked about the subject instead of yell. Good luck.

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate the support EP has given me- it makes me feel like I have a CHANCE now. A chance to change things; to see how the sexually and intimately satisfied live...lol. I will no longer try to change this man. This is him now and all I can do it pity him... Anyone who chooses to live such a cold and unloving life has sympathy from me. I've done it for way too long- it has to come to an end.

The worst possible scenario is that he does really believe that you are attacking him, not that he is pretending. That is how unfixable it might truly be. As Enna says you can do better. It wouldn't take much after all.

It is a classic ploy for Refuser spouses to deflect the lack of sex issue back onto their spouse. Don't accept it. Know it is NOT about you - it is his choice, and therefore his responsibility.

You are very young - far too young to spend further time in this dead relationship. Gather your resources, and see a lawyer. Put a proper end to this unending misery. Life is about so much MORE than you are currently experiencing. {{{hugs}}}

Read your other story for context too.

On what you say, your conclusion that this is a dead duck seems entirely accurate. 95% of the marriages that end up on these pages are too, but most people (understandably) reckon they are going to be in the 5%.

That you have recognised the truth of your situation puts you ahead of the game here really. When you are ready to move forward in the process, you'll find a wealth of information here that will be of potential value to you.

Tread your own path.