Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Mass Brainwash

I am posting this story a day after it happened, yet I am still amazed it happened.

I attended my monthly book chat with eight other women. Of my fellow chatters, some are married, some are divorced. As is typical of our book chats, once we’ve discussed the month’s book to exhaustion, our minds wander to current events and such.

On this particular night, the topic broached was texting naked pics. First, one woman blurted, “why do they think we want to see them NAKED?” Another joined in, “their junk is GROSS, I don’t want to look at it!” Assorted “yucks” and “ewws” soon followed.

Remember the scene from the movie, 1984, where the crowd is induced to vilify Emmanuel Goldstein, the archenemy of their civilization? THAT’s what it felt like…

Before I could volunteer my two cents, one courageous woman mentioned, “I don’t mind seeing it in boxer-briefs.” A subtle smile danced across my face. I looked my brave friend in the eye and told her (and the group) that I not only enjoy a nice package contained within boxer-briefs…but outside the briefs as well.

Simultaneously, seven heads whipped in my direction. Each face depicted its own version of shock.

What is wrong with this picture?! Sex is a natural, loving function. How can people resist attraction to that which can deliver such pleasure? How did sex get so twisted, distorted, and demonized?

I just don’t get it…
PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 18 Responses Nov 18, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

In my opinion many of your friends have issues, but your thinking is very natural.

It's all a matter of taste, too, though, isn't it?

I love looking at the human shape. Any shape, any gender - from that poor anorexic woman who went on the advertising hoardings to warn against the dangers of anorexia (and died shortly after) to the likes of the Venus of Willendorf. And male bodies, even though they are not in any way of carnal interest to me.
In art, in films, whatever ... I've been a casual nudist since my early teens, although I have learned to avoid the harsh antipodean sun. There are nudist beaches all over Northern Europe. I've had an eye-full.

Even so, if I see a direct close-up of someone's genitalia, unsolicited, then that is as often off-putting as it may be erotic.

That old thing about being tickled with a feather, or being slapped with a dead naked chicken holds a lot of truth, at least for me. Love eroticism, dead naked birds in the face, not so much.

---------------------------

All that aside, I hear you loud and clear. A lynch mob of sex-hating female castrates is not a nice spectacle. I admire you for speaking out.

It is something that really irritates me about my adopted country: so many women seem to see men as animalistic driven sex fiends, as potential rapists and child molesters and they get together in groups of mutual confirmation of these stupid sexist stereotypes. So sad.

I don't want to look at unsolicited penises. But when it comes to my lover, I absolutely want to gaze at him as much as possible. . . !

Peaches, congratulations on standing up for your beliefs. I am a HUGE admirer of people being brave enough to go against the crowd - this is the only way that prejuidice and other "nasties" are successfully challenged.

See? "Unsolicited penis" sounds so natural. But try writing down "unsolicited breasts" and it's not quite the same...

I like your keyword, "unsolicited" ... It's all about context. Nobody likes what they consider to be spam, and for some people spam is some lame email asking you to sign up for some lame coupon, and for others its having to stare at someone's unsolicited alien crotch meat. Everyone's desires and interests are different, the trick is to find out who has proclivities that match yours, and go there. Be considerate, kids ... I think it's as simple as that.

I'm with you I love to see men naked especially hard find it a beautiful and sexy eyeful. We have similar discussions at work seems the prudes speak the loudest. Sometimes the rest of us speak up sometimes we resort to an inner smile and texting each other across the office. They just do not know the joy they are missing.

You said it, sister. For the reasons stated in a few replies, I refuse to "act" in a way other than what is genuine for me. The prudes are attempting to control by intimidation...I'll have none of it.

Spoken well. It is an amazment to most men that women can portray themselves as such paragons of sexual huffiness. I suppose it all comes out in the wash as they say. But really it is a mystery.

The trick is to take them up on it. The best way to deal with lack of authenticity is to play along.

We live in a society birthed by 1620 pilgrims with broomsticks up their *****, that's why*s*e*x* is just so ssssccccaarrrrrryyyyyy, furtive, repressed in this culture. Gasp! A genital!

Sooner or later it will come down to "Yuck. Breasts. Yew... vaginas."

{sigh}

It just aint cool for a dude to send d*ck pics via text or email.

Personally, I agree with both sides. If its a complete stranger, I don't like looking at a man's "junk." However, if its someone I'm crazy about, like my fiance, I can't keep my eyes and hands off of it :P.

I don't ever want to mate with a woman that does not find my "junk" as [insert positive adjective here, such as "cute", "beautiful", "sexy"] as her "assets". ("Dimitry, listen to me. Why can't my junk be as sexy as yours, Dimitry?") Unfortunately, that's a lot of women. The following comment I made recently on another story is very relevant here (slightly edited):<br />
<br />
I was hoping for that lone story at last where a woman drools over her mate attired in Fruit of the Loom three-la<x>yer Buicks. Well, ok, may be not.(Respectable) men's underwear is characterized by one letter: S/M/L. Perhaps XL and XXL. Unlike a typical bra, it is not specified by the Cartesian product of waistband perimeter, waistband to perineum, waistband to butt crack, waistband width, crotch width, crotch depth, ball size, **** length worn out, **** length frisky, **** diameter, amount of back coverage, whether you want your balls to spill halfway out, etc. etc. You can still buy a 6-pack of briefs (*) for the same price as a typical semi-demi balconette underwire strapless lightly-lined piece of rocket science that involves seventeen different polymers blended to perfection and precision-assembled by 20 sweatshop workers.<br />
<br />
(*) And boxers are very comfy, but they do not qualify as "underwear", well, not to Europeans at least.<br />
<br />
Something seriously wrong with this picture, dudes. If I needed this kind of high-tech to "feel sexy", I wouldn't wonder if I could never get off in real-world situations.

There's an exhibition of naked men in a museum in Austria. They have covered up some of the "exhibits".

It's a funny old world, especially if you consider what was culturally acceptable/beautiful in Roman and Greek times. It's a reflection of the lunacies of our culture - which of course are not limited to that, as you say, especially when it comes to sex.

I really dislike pejorative words like "junk" used to describe male genitals (and equivalents for female genitals).

I also think there's been a very dark side to empowerment when it seems to be predicated on power and hate, and denigration of the other.

Their behavior struck me as so symbolic of our (American?) society overall. Where sexuality is something to control and to be ashamed of enjoying. I think the use of perjorative terms is yet another form of that control. I see it as a passive-aggressive assignment of yet another value judgement...

Control sounds right - based on fear. Same's true of drugs, but I won't go there.

I like to look at the packages..................u may need to drop these drip mates and find friends who aren't so uptight.

i suspect there was a bit of "I'm not going to admit it's a turn on if they all think it's bad" going on, along with a bit of prudery, combined with a bit of "I dont want anyone to think *I* am into that"---buying in to the "good" vs " bad" girl/woman stereotypes overwhelmingly prevalent. sad really. I'd pursue more of a friendship with your brave counterpart. and seriously consider the rest of the women in the book club...are they worth developing deeper friendships with? jmo,fwiw.

Yes, I think the good-girl, bad-girl dynamic was at play here. Along with a bit of follow the leader behavior as well.

I don't adhere well to either dynamic, and therefore plan on expanding my circle of friends :)

I suspect you live too far distance wise for us to form our own book club/"bad" girl posse....too bad, think we would have a total blast! :)

Maybe the bad girls of ILIASM should form their own book club? What a blast we'd have!

my reading choices are not literature. quite risqué in fact. :-). currently finishing up the latest in Lorelei James' series. want to pick a blue novel &amp; read, then discuss? i am game!

Cool! Now this sounds like fun! I'll PM ya - we can talk details...

2 More Responses

Ok my friend... truth be told... depending on where I am in a relationship progression I really don't want to receive sexting messages from a guy I'm seeing. I met a guy not too long ago, he seemed nice, we talked, had a good connection, a very nice kiss goodnight. He texted me the next day... a picture of his penis! Yeah, not ok. (and NO, it was not the Norse God. lol)<br />
<br />
It's not the ob<x>ject of the picture that bothers me, it's more the act of receiving it from someone I am barely getting to know. If I am getting to know you and getting to know your face, your body language, your kiss, your playfulness, your laugh, your touch... my mind and heart are busy with those things and developing intimacy. There is something that just turns me a bit off about being sent a picture of a penis over text, depending on where we are in the relationship.<br />
<br />
I have an ex-bf who will sext me every few weeks. And it shocks me. Part of that is because he's married and his wife is pregnant and she's very territorial so it's not a great idea. Usually it's accompanied by some kind of "Let's get together" thing. He thinks he is inviting me for something fun but it really gets to be too much. Some of it is because that's his main way of reaching out to me at this point instead of in a deeper way. I suspect he is in a SM at this point and remembers the great time we had in bed for many years. You and I have talked about my feelings about being with someone married now that I'm not anymore... not going to happen. Not even for a roll in the hay that I can guarantee will be the best I've ever had because we just have that chemistry. <br />
<br />
At the wrong time it can push me away from the person. With my boyfriend that has not been an issue. While I very much enjoy ALL parts of him I am not so sure about sexting, which he is (so far) not into. Not horrified by a pen!s, but by a sext, YES sometimes.

change, I completely agree when it comes to strangers or those with whom you have not solicited that type of communication. For example, Brett Favre's name came up at one point...

I guess I approached the conversation that night from the perspective of assuming it's taking place within a healthy, mature relationship...one where we encourage each other's sexuality.

At the very least, that's the only type of relationship I'll engage in from now on...

One of the problems with males is that they somehow don't recognize that females are different from them. Generally, women are not turned on visually while men are. They don't teach about relationships anywhere; you just have to grasp it on your own and few people have the ability to grasp what their partners are doing because they are so caught up in considering what is going on in their own brains. Just one old guy's opinion.

Group behaviour syndrome? I behave as I anticipate the group probably expects me to behave, not as how I would behave if I was alone or in a different group dynamic? From what you say that seems improbable.

I often wonder whether men are ever guilty in reverse. Share in all the misogynist/sexist/schoolboy humour while privately thinking to themselves, "Jeezus, get me outta here!"

The best I can muster in such situations is a rather wan smile masquerading as a grin. I'm not sure whether it has ever convinced anyone but as we may all be playing some sort of bizarre 'silly buggers' game it may just pass muster.

Who knows, who really ever knows?

I have never heard a woman say that EVER! I think you need a new book club. That is shocking! Even my least sexually open girlfriend refers to her boyfriend's privates as "beautiful."

I was struck by your "1984" analogy.

My mind immediately leapt to the re-writing of history that the Ministry Of Truth used to engage in. Rather like refusers.

Tread your own path.

Wow. just wow. guess i can thank you for giving me the perfect analogy ( along with peaches) for my H. he is a one person ministry of truth re-trainer for refused wives. :)

I call the collection you described the "dumped wives union" -- It may be true they have a union card and their own brand of cool-aid. feed em fish heads - and not the god kind 'neither.

"She's a good girl" - "She's a ****" - "She's naughty"

Men are to blame to answer your question - we wrote all the books and the morality prose - for generation upon generation we had the pulpit in the churches, in the government; in the home. We published this prudish junk to protect our ED, fat bellies, crappy health and inner demons. NOW our liberated selves use the term above on p*rn titles, is it no wonder? - we have destroyed western women.

Don't even feed us fish heads - we are a poor lot due our despair. We have earned that which we have wrought.

I fail to see why women don't all become lesbians - the absence of this fact is man's last vestige of hope.

That just felt damn good to type --
Happy Thanksgiving in the USA :)

omigosh, thanks for this. cracked me up but contains elements of truth. those of us western women who're still horny hot &amp; would actually enjoy some steamy sexting (amongst other steamier activities) are made to feel strange; out of the norm; "nympho," and other non-positive pejoratives. not sure if it's mens

whoops smart phone sent too soon--influence, or just an overly puritanical prudish influence that SO many of us would like to see end.

No way! That's just nuts.(Honestly, honestly! no pun intended) I like to look. Not at everyone's mind...

I am not sure, I just know I will only be hanging out with woman that have a normal healthy sex drive. I think some give up, others can control there men and don't give it to them and others have never had someone that has ever rocked there world.